It's beginning to look a lot like.....

CHRISTMAS!
My laptop died it's death after weeks and weeks of spluttering along, I am using H's laptop, that means I have to sit in the wrong place, wait for him to not be using it, try and work my way around an unfamiliar computer ( why is the delete button never in the same place?) The R sticks, I keep having to go back and redo all the words with the letter R in it.
It's all too much like hard work for me and so today, I determined that I would use my time more wisely, it is just TWO WEEKS until Sophie and I fly to Boston, when we get home it will be 2 weeks to Christmas and if I am anything like I was in June, those 2 weeks will be spent in a foggy stupor, jet lagged and completely stupid.
I decided that this year, I was going to make all my own cards again, I want them done by the time I leave for Boston so I can mail the US ones over there ( because I am tight fisted and hate to pay more for the postage than the card. Postage to the US is ridiculous, I went to mail a small box of chocolate last week and they wanted £40 for it! Nope, not happening, no way no how!
So, I have started my cards and so far have made nearly 50, I am very pleased with them because now I can send cards that say what I want to say.
Making the cards has reminded me just how much I love to do this kind of thing. I found some other things that called my name, oh I am feeling so festive! I even downloaded Christmas music and the boys are in seventh heaven listening to ' Grandma got run over by a reindeer', 'The redneck 12 days of Christmas' and 'I want a hippopotamus for Christmas' I am getting more excited about this year's celebrations.
I love the fact that we are setting traditions for our family, every year I buy matching pyjamas for H and the boys, this year I want to buy some for Sophie and I that tie in with that, with our new tradition to eat our big meal on Christmas eve, we can stay in our PJs on Christmas day until we feel like getting dressed....the boys love having H wear the same PJs as them, especially Eli, I want to make the most of that while they still think it is fun. Too soon they will start to think it's naff.
Actually, it might be lovely to buy Jordan, Mel and Joshua matching PJs as well and after our dinner on Christmas ever we can all open our PJs.
I am amazed that Seth still doesn't seem to have a clue about Santa, he stated a doubt or two about the tooth fairy and last year he wondered about santa but this year, he is so excited about it all....wonderful.
I will be missing for a while, until my laptop gets back from the menders, last time it took a month and then they lost it, I got a new one and then the old one came back, I hope that isn't repeated, I love my laptop!I do like however, doing more with my time.
( oooh, think I just cleared that 'R' darn crumbs!!)
I feel better, I am so relieved, feeling so sad is just awful, it is so crippling to feel so helpless and unable to function. I know why I felt like that and that always helps to fight it, for a while I just seem to crash, get swamped by all the emotions and once I can work out what has made me do that, I can reason my way out of it. I can't change the things that cause the crashes but I can battle my way out of it ..usually!
It will do me good to get out and about more, I love this time of year, I love to walk around garden centers and look at the Christmas things, get ideas for decorating. I will use H's laptop when he goes to bed but otherwise will probably not get online too often and I don't think it will hurt me too much at all. I feel stale and uninteresting lately and hope to come back with tales to tell and ability to tell them in an entertaining way....hopefully I will be stunned by the speed with which my laptop returns to me and joy in the fact that I will no longer have to hold the laptop upside down, wiggle the lead that charges it and then prop it up with Princess Lea's boobs ( a McD's Pen that the boys got with a happy meal, we discovered her boobs were the ideal height for holding the charge lead up so it worked! Oh to have a laptop that just WORKS!)