On being more agreeable.

On Sunday, it seemed that the topic of discussion at church was on gifts, spiritual gifts. We learned how people will be blessed with differing gifts, how some gifts we are born with and are evident from the beginning, others we may never hold as our own and some, well some we can ask for, seek after and obtain.
There was much discussion on the many different gifts that people have, from the very obvious to the less obvious and there was one gift, that I had never thought of as a gift mentioned. Someone read a quote ( don't ask me who said it originally, I wasn't paying attention until I heard WHAT was said) and in that quote the gift of being agreeable was mentioned.
My ears pricked and something sent a shiver down my spine and a feeling of such desire that I couldn't hear anything else, or think of anything else. All I could think of was how great it would be to have the gift of being agreeable. To be KNOWN for being agreeable.
I want that gift.
I am seeking after it.
I have avoided praying for it because I am no foll. I have learned how THAT works.
Pray for patience...guaranteed that your kids will be like hellions.
Pray to be charitable and you will find yourself with next to nothing and a starving homeless person needing what little you have, more than you.
Pray to meet someone when you have been lonely for 10 years and happen to mention that you don't mind if he isn't ready for you yet.....you'll help him get ready and you will meet a glorious man who has been a bachelor for 40 years and has aspergers syndrome thrown in and fall in love with him.
So, no praying here for the gift of being agreeable. And yet........
Were this many idiots in the world on saturday? You know, before I decided that I was going to stop feeling ready for a fight every day of my life?
Where did all these total dimwits come from for heavens sake?
I can't remember a time when I have ever felt so desperate to slug a stranger as I have the past few days.
Why do people chase after me to tell me I can't park there when no-one ever cared before? Why?
I wanted to say " Hmmm, let me see if I care? ......well waddya know? Nope!"
Instead I said " Oh, hmmmm I should probably move my car" and I did. ( grinding of teeth , fitting as I was at the dentist at the time, the same dental surgery that I have been going to for many years, the one where I have always parked in the same car park, the one that is actually attached to the dental surgery. Apparently we should NOT park there because you need to have paid for a permit, THEY all PAY for a permit to park there and so WE cannot. WE must drive further down the road, around the corner to the council offices and use THEIR car park because THEY don't have to pay for a permit.) Incidentally, I did notice that 3 out of 10 cars had permits...the rest? Not a sign.
Then... "Mrs W, would you fill in these questionnaires please, for all your family members? "
"Oh, I did that already"
"We like you to fill them in every 6 months"
"Even if nothing has changed because nothing HAS changed?"
"Yes please"
"So, I fill them in and you read them and check them against your computer and you say ' cool, nothing's changed, no need to alter anything here then?' "
"Um....hmmmm, probably"
" OK"
So, I filled in our names and addresses and I wrote "as before" in the other columns.
I wanted to shove them up her nose. Or argue my point, or make her see what a waste of a tree that paper was.
Being agreeable, I am seeking after it.
We won't even start on whether being agreeable at home is easy or not. Although...why not, let's do that!
Sophie " I so need a shower and to wash my hair"
Me " Very good, however if you do that thing where you stick the hair that comes out on the shower wall? You are cleaning the bathroom every day for a month because really, that makes me heave every time you do it"
Sophie " I'm not cleaning the bathroom, it's not MY job to clean the bathroom, ewww I am SO not cleaning the bathroom after other people"
I wanted to, but didn't. ( Do whatever it is you are thinking you would want to do or say )
Being agreeable does not mean being a simpering doormat but it does mean thinking before you act or speak and then acting in a way that makes the other person feel better, not smug or superior, even at times when we have to correct or admonish it is possible to do it in a way that doesn't make the other person feel bad. My mum has that gift, I can't remember her ever making anyone feel small or belittled or even uncomfortable (other than that feeling of discomfort that comes from knowing you are in the wrong, even then she manages to make you feel good about the fact you have realised you did wrong and want to make it right.) Do you think that maybe there is a tiny bit of genetics in there that will make this a little easier for me?
I am not a naturally agreeable person, I sometimes like a good scrap, it clears the air doesn't it? It's just that life is so short and it is just so much nicer to live it if we are nice to each other.
( Still trying to be like Jesus but good heavens it's a long road isn't it?)
Oooooh, I was busy here for a while and wandered off to Facebook, read a bit of this and that and forgot all about being here....now I am so far off track I can't get back into being agreeable, which is OK because everyone is asleep so I can be as bloody minded as it suits me without hurting anybody's feelings.
Tomorrow is another day, that's always a good thing.