Laughter is the best medicine.

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underwear turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Nohing like a laugh is there??



Great news on the junkbucket front. The toyota dealer quoted us £1.266 to fix our car. Yikes. Between ebay and the breakers UK group I have found all the parts, ALL of them for £273. at most it will cost £100 to get them fitted. Spit in your eye Toyota dealership......honest Jim down the road gets my custom again!! The even better news ( sort of, can it get better than that?) is that once fixed it will use LESS PETROL! Less of that stuff that is now almost £1 a LITRE, oh hoorah hoorah. It will also, you know, keep going when I turn it on, it won't cough and die if I slow down ( which I am forced to do even when I don't want to sometimes, around schools and at red lights and things. ) I am almost giddy with excitement but am trying to hold onto that feeling should something really exciting happen, like getting weighed and hearing the nurse gasp in astonishment or something of that nature.
I am doing well on my 'new me' kick. My rings come off now, not that they need to but if they come off, there is always the chance that a new one might fit on and that would never be a bad thing.
My jeans also come off WITHOUT UNDOING THEM! Smaller ones don't go on yet unless I lie down and I am so SO too old for that malarchy.
I am excited to know the numbers of the weight loss, I have scales here but they are new and not the same as the doctors ones, I can't remember what I weighed on them...I have lost a PILE on mum's scales but if you lean backwards on hers you can lose another 5 pounds, so as happy as they make me, I can't quite do the 'look at me I am so skinny ' dance if I rely on those.
Part of the trouble when you have a lot of weight to lose is that feeling that it will take so long you might never do it. Feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the task before you can quite easily happen, and a nice cake and a pack or 3 of chocolate biscuits help you to sit and plan your next move. Tough being fat.
I am walking, imagine that. I almost like it. I really like the feeling when I have done it, that'll do for now.
I'm toying with the idea of buying a video. One that will make me want to leap about when everyone is asleep and feel energised and thin. Who wants to feel energised at night though ? I can't do it in the day for fear of being caught. Or seen. Or heard. The neighbours might think the end of the world has come when their foundations shake . It's important to think about the neighbours, especially when you have teenagers that throw parties when you are away.
I see big girls in their track suits with water bottle in hand, power walking, red faced and shiny. I am so impressed with them. I am sure that only the shallowest of nasty people would have anything but admiration for these women, but I just can't join them. I worry too much about what I would look like.
I wish I had someone to go with, make it more fun and more difficult to just stop and go home. Anyway I don't have headphones. I think you need headphones, I've never seen a power walker without them, so I really would look stupid if I was thumping along the road actually listening to the world, instead of some upbeat music spurring me on. H has got headphones, but the stuff that comes out of them makes me lose the will to live. Talks by historians aren't well known for encouraging fat ladies to walk faster, I think they make them stand stock still in horror that someone would actully choose to pump that directly into their eardrums, or at very least eat copious amounts of chocolate and cake.
Can you believe how utterly brilliant I am at excusing myself? You don't get to my size by giving in graciously. I have had years of getting myself out of exercising. I used to go cross country running. Not walking, RUNNING. I adored the whole thing, screaming lungs, corned beef legs from the cold, stinking trainers from the rivers I ran through. What happened? I still get a thrill remembering how it felt but that's as far as it goes. Reading back that last bit has me worried about myself even back then......look at what I enjoyed!! Actually TV and stodgy food is much easier to understand.
Life is bizarre isn't it?