Look at this boy, in shorts, for school. Ok so he isn't quite posing in front of a fetching background, he is jumping on Elijah's unmade bed......this though, is the best picture. I had to take quite a few.....like this one.....



But he is glorious and he LIKES shorts now, these are made from his old school trousers, they have a flip ( clip) and they don't flap ( ?!?!?)and they make him happy and feel safe.
I adore this little boy.
Which is good, because that gets me through the obsessions, it doesn't help me understand why, even when he is so thirsty he has run out of sweat, he STILL has to have the right cup, but it helps me understand that it matters to him. It defiantely helps me find the fact that he is unable to return reading books endearing, he chooses new ones and puts them in his book bag but he can't let go of the old ones...his book bag weighs 300lbs.
As he conquers one ostacle, a new one arrives, if a new one doesn't arrive one of his other fears gets stronger.
We have times where it's almost possible to forget he has any problems at all, those are the good times, when we have become so used to his eccentricities and fears, his obsessions and rituals that we no longer notice them. It doesn't last though and soon enough something comes along to remind us that this is a boy out there in a class, and world, of his own.
He seems to be having trouble hearing, ,he was sick last week and had ear ache but wouldn't let the doctor look in his ears. I spoke to his teacher today to see if they had noticed his 'deafness'. I wonder if I will ever accept, or not be stunned when I am met with the reactions I face. She looked at me with a suprised look said that no they hadn't but.....well, it's not as if he actually responds to us is it? I forget that he is SO different at school, he gains confidence and begins to open up, then there is a break at school. The system here is such that every 6 weeks there is a break at school.
The year starts in September, mid october there is half term for a week, then 6 weeks later it is Christmas, feb a week for half term, then easter, a week in May then in July 6 weeks summer break and the year begins again.
Every time he goes back after a break he goes backwards again. No speaking.
I don't feel sad for him so much, as frustrated. He is so bright and he has been diagnosed with selective mutism. I know he is happier when he is able to let that sweet little lispy voice heard...I am thrilled when I hear he has been speaking and making himself heard...then I just crumple when an innocent question leads to finding out that he is back to square one and silent again. One step forward, half a mile back.
But look at him. Is this boy happy? That's what matters....all is well.