Shame on you England.

I REALLY wish we had these in England, I need one, NEED one, like little boys need sling shots and marbles, teenage girls need inappropriate clothes, men need gadgets. I NEEEEEEEED a safari wagon. The other one, the toddler wagon is more practical and folds and stuff and I would love that one- but the safari wagon....I NEED it.

England doesn't do many things, it doesn't do refills on soda. It doesn't do food halls or soft pretzels.
It has never done drive through movies or July 4th. It doesn't do thanksgiving. It tries to do Halloween but I wish it wouldn't because it it pales into nothingness compared to the extravaganza of the U.S.A.
It doesn't do 12 lane freeways ( hooray!) or drive through banking ( hooray again)actually it doesn't do drive through anything except MacDonalds.
It doesn't do yellow school buses, graduation ceremonies or proms.

I can forgive England for all this, after all it does do national health care and DOESN'T do bills for being sick.
I just can't forgive it for not doing Step 2 safari wagons. Why would England suppose that we wouldn't need a wagon to pull our babies in?
Why would it imagine we can go through life without sitting our little boys in one of these and walking to the park with drinks in the little drinks holder and smiling boys waving out of the side ? Why would it dare to imagine that I, because I am English, wouldn't walk tall and show off and yell, by my very demeanor, that I am the proud owner of this wagon and yes, I made those divine and beautiful little people riding in such luxury inside? That I don't deserve to walk along nodding from side to side at passers by who would stop in admiration at such a wagon with such children inside?
Shame on you, England for this omission.
Hang your head in shame, Toys R us, for not importing these wagons ( or even just one, for ME, which would be even better because then I could be not only proud, but smug, in a " Yes, isn't it the grandest wagon ever and guess what, you can't have one, because it is THE ONLY ONE IN ENGLAND! It is mine and you won't be able to get one because England doesn't do wagons, didn't you know? Sorry." sort of way, that would be very unchristian and all but I would later repent and give it to another mummy with sweet children when mine outgrew it and then I would still get to heaven anyway.)
I accept that I can't have a shiny new car with seats that don't smell of old milkshake but my heart won't ever accept that I can't have one of these. Never.