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Halfway up the stairs......
Is the stair where I sit,
There isn't any other stair quite like it
It's not at the bottom
It's not at the top
But this is the stair where I always stop.
Well, today anyway! I took the family out first thing and was happy to do it, I was even happier to get home and crumple in a heap, for about 27 seconds until my bowels made me move. Fast. They kept me moving for many hours. Poor me.
Not content with a head that weighs about 83lbs, sitting on a lumppy neck, a head that seems to have taken on a mind of it's own, the ears are itching and so the head keeps doing a great impression of a crazy person with a bad case of Tourettes thrown in. Like a dog with water in its ears. That's very unkind to my poor neck. But forget the neck throat, ears and head......what about the bowels? Fear not, no details, suffice to say that it was more than I could manage to keep going back to bed and sitting on the lav wasn't an option. Awwwww, nice stairs, comfyish stair where I can lean against a wall. I brought my book which seemed like a great idea and H kept the loud and bouncy people downstairs.
The bigger people though, the teenage ones, those people who are more convinced than a toddler that actually, the world DOES revolve around them and they ARE the most important and beautiful being alive ( fun when you have 2 of them in one house)they were free to roam the house. Sophie has been house sitting for a friends family while they are away. She was going to have fun and love it and be in charge and everything. She has had some fun and sort of enjoyed it but the week is almost over and for heavens sake, don't I understand that it's HARD looking after 2 dogs and a house and cooking for herself and cleaning UP?!?!? So she popped in, to share herself with us and make our day happier because we would be able to see that ife is hard for her and we have it SOOOOO easy.
" Mum? MUM?!?! Can you please drive me back to Emma's PLEASE?" ( its .75 of a mile, downhill)
" Burp....probably not Shophie betoth my head ith thort of heavy and look I jutht thtopped puking and I am in by pyjamath and it'th 4 o'clock....burp"
" But PLEASE! you can get dressed and it won't take you long........."
Actions often speak louder than words and with a regular person, the sight of me heaving AND trying to run with my buttocks clenched...never mind that pitiful sort of dread laden whine that comes with the knowledge that either your blistered throat or your very sore bottom is about to be put through the wringer again.Well, that would stop a regular person in his/her tracks, they might even feel a pang of some selfless emotion and scuttle away. Not Sophie.
" well, thankYOU, I'll just walk then and ........." I was upstairs again locked in the toilet and she was gone when I came out.
Jordan was different, he noticed that sitting on the stairs was a little unusual and asked if I was OK, I almost told him, but I like to encourage feelings of empathy and rewarded him for his thoughtfulness by smiling with my lips clamped shut so I didn't burp at him, or puke.
Lets forward an hour to the telephone ringing.
" Hello?"
"Hi mum, it's Jordan"
" Hello my boy" ( croaked, I tell you that to keep you feeling you are on my side)
" Hey mum? " ( oh, the ?....makes you know what's coming doesn't it?)
" I need you to do me a REALLY big favour"
"Hey, Jord, I'm puking, my head hurts, if I can do you a favour sitting on the stairs or the toilet, I'm up for it, otherwise, you're out of luck, burp"
"well, actually, I only need my England shirt, I REALLY need it, now, at work, can you bring it?"
I imagine he managed without. I'm sure he was just fine.
I'm fine now, with my hot blackcurrant, ginger and honey drink, my warm lavender neck thing, peace and quiet and some toast that is still in my body, 3 hours after I ate it. Medicines are working to make my throat have a space big enough to breathe through ( phew, that's a relief) and my head is even sitting upright on my neck. I have the sitting room to myself ( see? Not on the stairs, things are really looking up!!)I even feel a bit hungry but I think I'll stick with that, it's the safe option!
There isn't any other stair quite like it
It's not at the bottom
It's not at the top
But this is the stair where I always stop.
Well, today anyway! I took the family out first thing and was happy to do it, I was even happier to get home and crumple in a heap, for about 27 seconds until my bowels made me move. Fast. They kept me moving for many hours. Poor me.
Not content with a head that weighs about 83lbs, sitting on a lumppy neck, a head that seems to have taken on a mind of it's own, the ears are itching and so the head keeps doing a great impression of a crazy person with a bad case of Tourettes thrown in. Like a dog with water in its ears. That's very unkind to my poor neck. But forget the neck throat, ears and head......what about the bowels? Fear not, no details, suffice to say that it was more than I could manage to keep going back to bed and sitting on the lav wasn't an option. Awwwww, nice stairs, comfyish stair where I can lean against a wall. I brought my book which seemed like a great idea and H kept the loud and bouncy people downstairs.
The bigger people though, the teenage ones, those people who are more convinced than a toddler that actually, the world DOES revolve around them and they ARE the most important and beautiful being alive ( fun when you have 2 of them in one house)they were free to roam the house. Sophie has been house sitting for a friends family while they are away. She was going to have fun and love it and be in charge and everything. She has had some fun and sort of enjoyed it but the week is almost over and for heavens sake, don't I understand that it's HARD looking after 2 dogs and a house and cooking for herself and cleaning UP?!?!? So she popped in, to share herself with us and make our day happier because we would be able to see that ife is hard for her and we have it SOOOOO easy.
" Mum? MUM?!?! Can you please drive me back to Emma's PLEASE?" ( its .75 of a mile, downhill)
" Burp....probably not Shophie betoth my head ith thort of heavy and look I jutht thtopped puking and I am in by pyjamath and it'th 4 o'clock....burp"
" But PLEASE! you can get dressed and it won't take you long........."
Actions often speak louder than words and with a regular person, the sight of me heaving AND trying to run with my buttocks clenched...never mind that pitiful sort of dread laden whine that comes with the knowledge that either your blistered throat or your very sore bottom is about to be put through the wringer again.Well, that would stop a regular person in his/her tracks, they might even feel a pang of some selfless emotion and scuttle away. Not Sophie.
" well, thankYOU, I'll just walk then and ........." I was upstairs again locked in the toilet and she was gone when I came out.
Jordan was different, he noticed that sitting on the stairs was a little unusual and asked if I was OK, I almost told him, but I like to encourage feelings of empathy and rewarded him for his thoughtfulness by smiling with my lips clamped shut so I didn't burp at him, or puke.
Lets forward an hour to the telephone ringing.
" Hello?"
"Hi mum, it's Jordan"
" Hello my boy" ( croaked, I tell you that to keep you feeling you are on my side)
" Hey mum? " ( oh, the ?....makes you know what's coming doesn't it?)
" I need you to do me a REALLY big favour"
"Hey, Jord, I'm puking, my head hurts, if I can do you a favour sitting on the stairs or the toilet, I'm up for it, otherwise, you're out of luck, burp"
"well, actually, I only need my England shirt, I REALLY need it, now, at work, can you bring it?"
I imagine he managed without. I'm sure he was just fine.
I'm fine now, with my hot blackcurrant, ginger and honey drink, my warm lavender neck thing, peace and quiet and some toast that is still in my body, 3 hours after I ate it. Medicines are working to make my throat have a space big enough to breathe through ( phew, that's a relief) and my head is even sitting upright on my neck. I have the sitting room to myself ( see? Not on the stairs, things are really looking up!!)I even feel a bit hungry but I think I'll stick with that, it's the safe option!
posted by The other me | 9:16 pm
4 Comments:
Oh Poor Poor Helen! I do so hope you're feeling much better now!
Hugs
Julie
That sounds awful Helen. I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.
And I agree on the teenager thing. They sure do think the world evolves around them. When I am sick, I get much more sympathy from the little guy. :)
Aren't teenagers grand? I am sooo looking forward to those days....NOT!!! I sympathize with you though! And I hope you get feeling better!!!
Hahahahaha
despite the fact that I feel horrible at how sick you are feeling, that was just too funny about the absolute self centeredness of teenagers. And we thought our little Asperger boys were the only ones that thought themselves the very centre of the universe.
The little poem at the beginning was so cute. My dad used to read that one to me, and mum said I had a special step - the second from the bottom that I would lay down on to drink my bottle as a baby. Always that second step from the bottom. My step.
Now get feeling better love!
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