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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Monday, May 22, 2006

A tale of two titties.



Completely unrelated pictures, but how cute are they???


This will make you cry I think. I have 2 boobs, they have lived and loved and have seen some things in their time. I didn't have any to speak of until I was 15, then over the summer they simply 'were.' No little sprouts in a trainer bra, from nothing to 34c in a matter of weeks. Lawks. I never really liked them, they were responsible for rocketing me into the limelight in a horribly uncomfortable way. I wish, now I look back, that I had enjoyed the firm and voluptuous ones that I had in my late teens and twenties, I could have strut my slim, yet busty, self through life and been a bit gorgeous, had I the mind to. I didn't. I was very shy about my body and when I look at pictures of me in my size 10 jeans with my lovely bosoms in a t-shirt that fit, that didn't hang loose and shameful, I could scream for the years I felt I was ugly. Silly young twit.
0I sort of live through Sophie a bit, and although a part of me thinks maybe I should encourage a tad more modesty, because she is my daughter and her boobs are SO much bigger than mine were at 17, well, I am sad to know that the day will come when she looks down and sighs, wonders where those pert and firm womanly objects have gone and asks how in the name of all that's swinging did those pendulous great blobs take their place? So I look at her in her skimpy things and know that modesty will come either with age, or children ( I hope, please don't let her be a boob strutter when she is a mother, so undignified somehow)Gravity and stretch marks come to us all ( it does, if it hasn't come yet, don't be smug, those things are going south one day, like it or not)
My boobs grew with each pregnancy, if I bought a bigger bra, they filled it. It was like potting a plant, they grew and grew and they never went down, well they went down, but they didn't shrink. They hung. bigger and lower each time.
I hated those things, painful and heavy, taking my bra off each night was an experience never forgotten, the thwump as they fell would fill me with horror every night.
Whenever I went out I was the target of lewd comments, 44FF and impossible to hide, I would hear " nice tits" and cringe. Men would talk to my chest , always. Creeps.
So, I got rid of them.
I had a reduction. Oh what bliss. I was very firm with the surgeon and said that if I woke up and saw big boobs I would make him take me back. B cup please, little pert ones that would just sit there and not hurt me, no boils underneath, no sore neck, little 'ski-slopey' bosoms. I got them!! I kid you not, I showed EVERYONE, I loved them, I didn't care about scars, I just loved these little things that stayed where they were when my bra came off, not a slap or a thwump, just 'there.' Marvellous. I had 3 more babies and they didn't grow!! WHOOHOO! Still nice, tidy boobs, B cup, hmmmmm bit sad that the rest of me grew and they were more like a pimple on an elephants bum than boobs but rather that than the way they were before.
Now I am losing weight, I have been looking forward to the day when my boobs were bigger than my belly. Pretty bras and lacy bits.......guess what?
THEY ARE SHRINKING!! I put my bra on in the morning and there is a wrinkly space. In my B cup bra. I am nearly 44 and for the first time ever I am losing weight off two little bosoms that can't spare to lose any. LOOK you diet fairies, there is a veritable whale like amount of blubber on my belly..take that!!! My bum is big enough to block the sun,, if it were ever to come out, TAKE SOME OF THAT! Leave the little boobs alone, be nice. I like them just as they are, please don't leave me with empty sacks of skin, let me have my young bosoms, time has ravaged the rest, I liked having young boobs, be kind. LEAVE THE TITTIES ALONE!!!!!
Thankyou.

6 Comments:

Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

Oh Diet Fairies NO!!!!! That is just TOO unkind!

5:55 pm  
Blogger Jenn said...

hee hee - I'm glad you are back and feeling better Helen. As part of the itty bitty titty club - I can commiserate with you fully. Please, if I could transfer some of my backside and my thighs up into the upper chest area, I'd be a very spicy MILF indeed. For now, I'll content myself that I don't get black eyes when I jog, and the "boo-boos" as my boys call them did their duty. Duncan has promised to never have big boo-boos or else he'll have to excercise to get rid of them!

8:18 pm  
Blogger JEFFY said...

Fantastic post! I feel like I just accidently walked into the Ladies Room. With 4 women in here! Gee, I'm sorry! Why y'all all screamin? Why am I giggling? Cause this was a fantastic hilarious post, but then again, maybe I ought not say that! Let me out! Let me out! (but I like em all, big, little, pert, swingin, any.) Ok Im going!

11:51 pm  
Blogger JEFFY said...

Wait Helen. Wait just a minute! I know that girl, she looks familiar! Oh. Evil. One. Do I know you, OEO? You seem familiar! Have we met before? I could swear I know you....

11:55 pm  
Blogger LosingSanity said...

I, too have plenty to spare....lol. I hate mine!

Why is it that when dieting/exercising, the things we want to keep are the first to go...leaving the real issues for last???? Just not fair!

3:06 am  
Blogger Julie Q said...

I'm just a B as well Helen. When I lose weight, I lose it there too. It isn't fair! :)

I loved your title Helen. Made me smile. And the boys are cute too! :)

3:18 pm  

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