Punch, anyone?

I have had an arse of a day, truly horrible and right now I am so ready to whallop something/one, there are a gazillion reasons and none of them really worth the bother of being so mad.
The trouble with having no mind numbing meds in my system is that I am no longer numb in mind, still stupid and forgetful but hells teeth, where have I been living for the past few years? I was always aware that the old me, the really old me was a houseproud, woodwork wiping dervish and sort of wondered where that person had gone but couldn't be bothered really to care. I mean, if I'd cared, I'd have had to do something about it and well.....I couldn't have been bothered, so I didn't care ...now though, every crunched in cornflake is an insult to my tidy unnumb head.
Trouble is, this is one hell of a house and a big family to keep in order to my fastidious requirements. I am sinking people. I am also smouldering with righteous indignation that H hasn't acquired the same renewal of "ewww clear that up and now"ness. What's up with that?? How can he still sit in complete oblivion to this chaos? HOW? How can he not see that this isn't how it should be?
Ah, see.....H never saw my home, except in pictures, before we got married. I went to him, in the states.......we had a lovely condo that was ok, then we moved to Hemet and started again with yard sales and gizzits, make do and mend and pregnancies one after the other, different homes and then living with grandpa. He didn't ever see ME, the real ME, homemaker, fussy want it exactly just so thankyou me.....never. Then we came back and the big depression, another new baby, more depression, his heart attack, 3 houses.....and now. ME.
This home is it, my dream, my everything I ever wanted home. My head is clear, my needs and standards are crashing back and ack, damn and blast....NO-ONE ELSE GIVES A FLYING FART.
They are all looking at me ( except Jordan and Sophie who seem to have a startled look of recollection on their faces and good grief, appear to be almost stirring themselves to help in their own unhelpful way) the others, well they all have this look of 'what the hell?' on their faces. Shame, they'll get the idea soon enough and I'm sure they will love living in our squeaky clean and sparkling house.
I have to find a way to get H in the groove, because otherwise, well..... Eli commented on my slamming a door earlier and I explained that it was either that or punching someones head.....kind of bizarre to have all these extreme emotions forcing their way through me, I can only hope that a happy medium will be found at some stage ( soon please).
Let me explain that we haven't been living in complete squalor, no furry pizza boxes on the front room floor, no crusty toilet seats ( heave) but chaos, toys, crumbs, handprints, that kind of stuff that I must not have been able to see, or care about.
I cannot stand it, I love having my home be a place where people drop in, where they can turn up unannounced and feel welcome. If I'm not comfortable, how can they be? It's just that after so long being so complacent, it's bloody hard getting back in a routine where I can get it all done and also...doing it while there are other people here NOT doing it, well my dears.....punch and more punch and who cares about Judy?
Do you have any idea how many cups 3 teenagers can use? It is a physical impossibility it would appear, for a teenager to reuse a cup, or rinse a cup. They use one, leave it half empty /full.. walk away get another one and one and one and one. Eli finds the half full ones, every time...slop, spill, squelch, slip, swear.
Crisps, everyone eats crisps, no-one puts the packets in the bin.
I put my bags from my trip in Jordan's room ready to carry done to the store room....awww, bless he moved them for me. HE PUT THEM IN MY CAR!!!!! Rather than get my keys and put them where they should go, he put them in my car, which is parked right outside the store room.
People find things they don't want anymore and rather than throw it out or give it away they dump it, in my room or in the kitchen or spare room. I am throwing away, if they put it down where it doesn't belong I throw it out, or dump it right back where they moved it from.
Laundry. Yesterday for example. Jordan did some laundry, put it in the drier, went out, Danielle did some laundry took Jordan's out of the drier, dumped it on the floor, put hers in went out. Sophie did her laundry took Danielle's out dumped it on the spare bed.......put hers in and went out, you getting the picture? Meanwhile of course, 3 little boys are being little boys and making enough laundry to make a mountain.
H does all the dishes, well I say all, he doesn't do any that the big kids have come along and messed after dinner is cleared up, midnight pasta bake dishes can sit there until a new antibiotic has been grown for all he cares. I understand that logic behind not doing them but ...... teenagers are blind, they can walk past dirty dishes and 37 cups with mould on them without a flinch or pang of guilt or even recognising that hey, maybe I am supposed to do those?!? H can ignore them and stick to his guns and the boys, as if they would care, but it makes my eyeballs melt and my brain screech every time I walk in the kitchen and see it. 73 times a day. I will wash the damn things because, well life won't grind to a halt, it is to short to go through the endless and rounds of......
Oh. OH never mind, all is well, just had a phone call saying there is a girls' evening tomorrow, laughing and food.....who cares about the mess? I shall clean and scrub all day and then walk away for an hour or 3. Sorted.