Phew, that's more like it.

I think we're better, that was a rough one, H was in bed for 8 days and then 2 weeks of slug like energy, tough job breathing and bad throat. I managed 2 days of bed held prostration, then it was christmas and we just had to be getting on with it. Even the souls of my feet hurt, how bizarre is that? We definately felt our age over the festivities but I am telling myself that it was much more the illness than the age, wasn't it? WASN'T IT?!?
What this whole bah humbug time has shown me is that I want a lot of things to change, more the way we do things. I am more and more aware of waste, we waste so much around here, money and time and opportunities and now I can honestly and truthfully say that my mind is clearer, I know its time to allow my mind to actually think again, blimey.
I had my eyes tested yesterday , ordered my new specs that are the same prescription as last year, hoorah, at least something is staying the same and not ageing at a rate of knots. Anyway the optician asked me if I was on any medication and my mouth went to start the list and I stopped in my tracks and was able to say
" Absolutely none, how marvellous is that?" I felt so proud of myself, an unmedicated me, all thinking straight and everything, even remembered the appointment, actually I am so organised I even remembered it a day early! Imagine, there I was all chuffed to have remembered and discover that I was a day early, clever me. I shall feel a bit grand to have 2 pairs of glasses, I will actually have a pair in the house so I can look up from the laptop and see the faces of my family and the TV screen, what a treat. I am blessed indeed!
Elijah starts nursery after the break, it'll take 6 weeks of easing him into the every day routine but once that is done he will have begun his journey into education proper, that gives H and I more time to start doing things very differently, we plan to be more organised and work on how we use what we have.
I am so excited to stop wasting so much of what we have. More home cooking, using local produce bought right here, I am stopping the ridiculous daily trips to big supermarkets filling trollies with obscene amounts of unneccessary junk.
We are going to go back in time, no more handing over debit cards and writing cheques, we are having 'pots', grocery, fuel, utilities and treats, a certain amount in each pot each week and when its gone, its gone.
I am going to use my savings account and we are going to save for ...well who knows. All I know is, we have enough money to live well and what we have been doing is sort of 'winging it', managing and sliding from payday to payday.
When I read through my bank statements online, I am appalled to see how much I spend and then can't remember what it was I bought. Most of it on things that disappear, bad food, petrol, rubbish......stuff we don't need and way too much gets thrown away.
It is stopping right here and right now.
Back to soups made at home and good bread, fruit and home made baking, less sugar and junk food. We all need to feel better again. H has been eating everything he shouldn't, I am worried about how he has been treating his body when he especially needs to look after it, I need to get back to eating so that I feel good.. and I am ready, I am still weighing quite a bit less than this time last year but have gained back a depressing amount of weight, about 21lbs, half of what I lost, I think.
So, off we go again.
I hope that I can make myself move more, the fact that all the sweating is over will make that less traumatic, I really hated being such a dripping great lump, defeated before I began. I will still dread it though, the bug hasn't got me yet.
There's always hope though. I shall have to drag that detested treadmill back upstairs so it can yell at me as I walk past, ooooh makes me bad tempered even thinking about it. I much prefer walking outside, maybe that will have to be my 'thing', out battling the elements and feeling a bit righteous and splendid, better than stomping in my dining room getting cross and feeling hard done by, sturdy shoes and a pac-a-mac rather than slippers and a scowl, perfect.
H is as gung ho as me about these new plans, it feels rather nice to be on the same wave length.
I am the money person here, H has an allowance and apart from that I deal with it all and that has become increasingly unsatisfactory, he knows sort of what we have coming in, but I don't really tell him what is going on, so he says things without knowing, I take umbridge without him understanding and no-one gets anywhere.
This new plan will ( I hope) get us working together for the same cause and stop the tension that money tends to cause when not treated with respect. I hope we don't get too embroiled in our thrifty ways, I am determined to be more careful but not be a stingy git. Just today I bought dinner and cooked it, it was delicious, it looked fabulous and cost a mere £3.60. Toad in the hole and cabbage with gravy. When I carried it in, both H and Sophie said " Oooh, couldn't get better than that in any restaurant. " Praise indeed.
The challenge is on to do that every day, hoping that at the end of the week there is enough money left in the pot for a takeaway, or a treat of some kind.
It's kind of exciting when you choose to do this... miserable if you have to because you're poor .
I have been poor, often, I have learned how to make little spread far, now I want to do that and reap the benefits, actually see some money get saved and be able to choose what to do with it.
Shall we have evenings sitting 'round the coffers counting our spoils? Marvellous. I shall be one of those old ladies that have folded notes hidden in my wardrobe for an emergency and make a second hand cardigan last for 17 years. I just hope I don't smell of old chip fat or cats.
I rather fancy the idea of being the sort of person that manages to have something to help out in times of need and be a granny that treats and helps ...not a miserly old cat lady who snarls at the very idea of having to buy soft toilet paper.
I promise I shall never save those slivers of soap to make 'new' bars. I shall always have lovely soft, even quilted, loo rolls ( bought when they are buy one, get one free, naturally) I shall still buy my posh shampoo because my wiry old hair with its very own mind has to be shown that it must do as its told when the occassion demands.
We won't be having endless cookies and crisps, no more scones and cream for H, unless it is a treat. No more fast food because its fast and lazy, ( and delicious, in its own hideous way) No more hunks of pre packaged meat that we cook and then eat some of and then throw away. Lighter meals, fresher foods.
So, there you have it. New years thingumies, resolutions, goals, plans. Pretty good ones I think. Now its time to get on and do it.
I'm definately ready .