So this is Christmas!

Phew, did it, it's all over bar the shouting for another year and I am sort of breathing a sigh of relief.
It all went so well... and so typically, we look forward to this so much for so long I am always left with a sort of echoey hollow feeling for a while. Maybe not hollow, hard to feel hollow when you've eaten so much, but you get my drift I'm sure.
I am still sort of ill, whistling ears and horribly dizzy, nasty cough and a bit naseaus. The feeling of impending death has gone though, so that's something and my bones aren't snapping anymore which is glorious, we're just not quite bouncing and tra la-ing yet.
Last night I was positively blase about what needed to be done. I would do a bit, sit down, sigh, do a bit more, lie down, breathe.......at 1am I was still surrounded by stuff, but at least the boys were asleep which was a good thing. A very good thing because I was pretty sure they would be getting a lump of coal in their stockings, they were beyond revolting and I wasn't at all in the mood for reading the night before christmas or putting out mince pies and milk.......it was late before they gave in and went to sleep. Little gits!
They woke up at 6.45 which is really reasonable, opened stockings with exactly the right amount of sweetness and joy, Scooby doo socks, bloodhound dogs and KNEX ( evil knex of little tiny pieces and 'can you help me I can't do it' frustration)
Mum arrived at 9.30 for a full english breakfast, yum. Fresh orange juice and we were to open more gifts when the dishes were done, I am all for making them hang on a bit and stretch out the day but H took it to such lengths I thought I would have a meltdown tantrum.....COME ON ALREADY!!
Lovely presents, I had some slippers from H that I think are microfibre or something because they areso soft and strokeable, I think they are a little piece of heaven on my feet, I shall be able to go into the kitchen and not weep in foot cold pain , bliss, he also gave me a voucher for a dinner at the bison/ ostrich burger restaurant up in Surrey, we are going for a week in feb......hoorah.
There is scarcely a day goes by when I don't congatulate myself on how hip and happening I am with my young children, how they keep me from being among my peers in my enthusiasm for conservatories and a quiet weekend in the country. I am a slip of a thing and so with it.......or maybe not.
Today has shown me where I am up there with the snoozy afternoon club, I am too old for the bits. The little toy bits, the paper bits, the pentops and definately lego. I find the half eaten chocolate and already sucked jelly sweets less touching than I did, stickers on everything is enough to make my blood pressure hit the roof, I have been trying to pick up and tidy all day.......ack, it's CHRISTMAS, suck it up old woman and enjoy it all. I was frantic at clean up the wrappings time, sorting it into recyclables and landfill categories. Loosen up old girl!! I won't even tell you about the palpitations I have had about the markers and lids and felt pens and lids and twistable crayons and lids......I AM AN OLD PERSON.. show me the orange and lemon jelly slices and point me to a comfy chair so I can drop my chin on my chest and snore, please.
Mum, bless her, said after about 3 minutes of gift opening
" are we opening the ones with our names on and then going home ( where it is peaceful and tidy and quiet and clean) or are we staying to open ALL of those?? She said she had vegetables to prepare, she then said that it might not take long to peel 6 potatoes but could she use that excuse anyway and get the hell out? ( you know she would never say get 'the hell out' don't you? I am just very good at reading minds and between the lines) We let her go, it's been a rough year.

I think H feels old too, I thought I was having a touch of the altzheimers, thinking about gifts I felt sure I had bought and wrapped and hidden and labelled but not seeing them anywhere......did I buy that? Did I imagine it? Am I insane? Where the ????? I even voiced a couple of "wonder where's" walked around a bit with puzzled expression etc, then accepted I am losing it, may already have lost it, am stupid. Until I found a pile of unopened gifts hidden under a blanket behind H's chair in what he thought might appear to be a sensible act of saving some for later, but what I know was a desperate attempt to stop the insanity. I will have to make sure he doesn't hide them for next year or birthdays in august or something.. because he would do that, he really would.
I felt a slight ( or huge) amount of pique when, after buying exactly 3 gifts 3 days ago, wrapping them but not labelling them and that amounting to his contribution to the festive season, when we were all assembled as a happy and eager family, filled with wonder and anticipation, around the tree ( bought and decorated and watered and tended by me) awash with colourful presents and ribbons ( bought, hidden, brought down, arranged.. blah blah by me ) he came in and sat down in front of it all and said " so...what have we here?" and took upon himself the job of being the gift bestower. It was the air of authority and natual assumption that this was his job as man of the house that sort of made me want to shove him out of the way.
If only some of that need for responsibilty had stuck him earlier......just irritating that this was 'his' moment. I wish I hadn't written that because it hadn't annoyed me nearly as much as it is now until I had given it the time and energy by writing it, now I will be cross for at least half an hour ....darn it! I ALWAYS hand that job over to him...I'm sure that he was just doing what he knew I would ask him to do but it was the fact that he just did it that bugged me...no winning is there?
None of us felt well enough to eat the dinner that I felt honour bound to cook, why I thought we needed a 20lb turkey for 3 adults is beyond me a 6lb chicken would have been perfect, we have enough turkey to last until we can't think without heaving, although a lovely bit of cold meat with some home baked ham and some pickles is always welcome on boxing day, and the day after, thursday maybe??
Oh the obigatory hideous gift wins a prize this year...I hope she did it on purpose, my sister gave me a tote bag , which by itself is borderline bad gift, this one was incredibly hideous, it is a see through photo-tote, room for pictures of all my children, the handles are pink, brown and white candy striped satin ribbon. I love it because it is so revolting it is loveable. I almost feel obliged to take up crocheting to get the full value of it, it should be filled with crochet needles and half done doilies, a toilet roll cover in the shape of a poodle would look amazing in there. My other sister and I used to have hideous slipper competetions, who could give each other the ugliest slippers, turquoise ankle slippers with gold embroideried flowers, that was the winner one year. I think the tote bag was one of those gifts, please don't let it be something that Julie believed was just 'me'.
Mum came up with a perfect gift. Every year we would go to the pantomime, it was my dad's present to everyone, kids, their kids and their kids would go, dad at the healm, we yelled and sang and laughed and every year it was the thing we all longed for.
No-one mentioned it this year, not one of us wanted to go, it will never be the same without dad. There was never going to be anything that could be like that, nothing mum bought would have been close to the panto......she found the most glorious answer. She bought, on our behalf, a cow, goats and a sheep for families in a village in Africa. Each animal cost the equivalent of a months wages to a family....now there are a few families that will have animals. Ideal. Clever mum.
so, we have 3 little boys all bathed in their santa bubble bath , wearing new 'jama's, playing with lego and watching Curious George, Seth is in love with his black Lab and Eli has his socks. We have enough chocolate to gain 300lbs. All is well. We can relax for another year.