Yeay, sort of.

I have a new laptop, the fixers failed a 28 day test and that means that I could go to the store and pick out a new one, ha ha. Kind of like the pizza for free if it doesn't arrive in 30 minutes, only better because now I have me a new upgraded, windows vista posh jobby that doesn't, alas have any of my pictures or favourites on it, I have scrabbled around and found some of your blogs but if you can leave me a lovely comment I can click and save and be back in blog reading bliss after 28 days of hardly reading any, I missed you.
I am one of those folk that have a hard time with new technology, I loathe having to work things out and make things work and all that jazz, I will keep a phone or a camera forever rather than have to learn about a new one. I never get the full use out of things either because, like my washing machine...I will boil wash my whites and everything else gets done on a number 4 wash..what's all that other stuff about?
What's been happening while I have been sneaking the odd moment on H's laptop? ( why has this laptop got the delete button in a completely different place to any other computer I have ever used? Darn it, keep hitting num lock instead of delete) Well, I am a bit relaxed and calm and sleeping at night and things, fancy! On saturday Sophie said she wouldn't be home, so I locked the doors and went to bed..she did come home and could only get as far as Jordan's empty room, she had to sleep on a cold, hard floor in tiny cold clothes....wouldn't you think that would bang home some kind of message? Like " hmmm, must make sure that they know I am coming home, or must get home before they lock up tonight? Apparently not, on sunday I went to bed at 1am, locking doors and sleeping beautifully, until 3am, H was downstairs with his poor aching neck, Sophie came home, knocked on window, H opened the door and ignoring her completely walked back into the front room. She was after a fight and followed him yelling " F******b arsehole, why'd you lock the f*ing door? Leave the damn door open bastard....." etc etc. I came out and when I came out he walked away from her again, she turned on me, every kind of insult, hateful name, swearword she knows, I told her to shut her damn mouth, smacked her with a pair of pyjama bottoms and then sat in the front room with H til 4am because I knew if I went near her and her foul mouth I would want to smash my fist into her big gob and maybe even kick her a bit. At 4am when it was quiet I wend my weary way back to bed and she was lying in wait for me, she threw a poisonous note at me and said she was going, and she did. I threw the letter away because it was mean and filled with all the usual rubbish, she has been staying at Jordan's flat, I hope he is tough and tells her to find her own place, the council have been trying to get hold of her to help house her but whether she is calling them back or not is a mystery. If Jordan lets her stay, she will take over, assume it is her place and then blood will flow.
Being able to lock the doors and sleep because I am not subconsciously waiting for her to come home, or worrying that she won't, or fretting that she will and start another fight. It has been heavenly and peaceful here. I am getting a glimpse of how it will be when we move and this is how it always is. She came home tonight and was obviously cross that she had to ask me if I knew where her black work trousers are ( somewhere under that 4ft pile of stinking mess on her floor I suspect) She wanted to ignore us and honestly, I can take that, because the noise, the swearing, the antagonism, the hostility..enough. Ignore me, my head likes that. Maybe when all is settled and she has her own place, when we have a new house, perhaps then we can get on, she has to want it though and she seems to love the fighting. I am all run out of fight though so she's out of luck there.
I hate to even mention it but it looks like I am back on the good for me lifestyle, back to enjoying it and feeling better and shhhhhhh....... losing weight, that's all I will say for now because seems as soon as I say anything I slide off again. It just feels better to breathe again and be comfortable, peeing like a race horse because of the fluids and lack of salty crap laden foods. ( that are very yummy but sluggish making) It seems like every 7lbs lost equals about an inch, half a size, which makes a difference, sitting comfortably or not, zipping up easily, or not. May this phase last long enough to make a big difference again. Please.
So, I have my new laptop, hopefully will know how it works soon enough and be back in the swing again anyday.