And what, pray tell, could I entitle this post?

Oh it's so funny, you won't believe it if I tell you. Shall I tell you anyway? Hmmmm.
OK. Today I got a call from Dexter at estate agents selling this house. I did. Laughing yet?
He said that the couple who saw the house yesterday would like to come back and look again today. Stupid man, who saw the house yesterday? WHO??
No-one that's who, I shall humour him and say yes, just for the hell of it.
So, he gets here just ahead of his clients, quick chat.........yes, the couple saw the house yesterday, inside and out.....they DID! You know, did Howard not tell you? NO HE DID NOT AND HE MIGHT BE SORRY. Very sorry.
So, seems this couple love the house, yeay for Bridget the landlady, house that has been sitting empty for year and a bit is now in demand, whoohoo.
Go us. great homemakers who make otherwise unmarketable houses the must have homes of the week.
Arseholes.
H says he isn't even going to answer if I mention where we can go ( yet t'was HIM that let the damn people look around when we have legally NO obligation to do so until we have received a notice to quit which can't happen for another 6 weeks. ) I probably shouldn't go on too much about how I told him that that was fine.....not like he actually does anything anyway, I shall wait til a week before we move and then tell him and he can pack his own stuff and try and get the internet connected, which still isn't by the way, connected here, damn dial up with AOL bloody disc that makes me want to punch someone, the list is getting longer, I have a veritable plethora of people who look good to wallop right now. I have been sitting here for 20 minutes waiting for photobucket to open so I could wait 45 minutes to download cute pictures of kids ( 10 of them) playing in the garden and grownups eating great food in our kitchen but to hell with it, bloody dial up.
I shan't cry, where does that get me? I cried buckets over the last house, didn't stop it going through, didn't stop us having to spend over £1000 to move here to beautiful holiday house. Like we have that kind of money to shell out again in a months time.
I am trying to wait until I know if these people are going to buy this house and set up their *&$%$* catering business in my laundry rooms, before I really let rip. We are in a pretty good position in that even before we moved Bridget of many houses none of which we can actually stay in long enough to dirty the cooker, she said that should this improbable event happen she would pay our expenses AND find us a new home ( for maybe 3 weeks next time? Who knows??) We have a 4 month contract, if she wants us out sooner well maybe we can ask her to make that worth our while.
OH MY HELL I do not want to have to think about this now, or ever.
Is there a millionaire out there that wants a lovely investment home with smashing tenants who do the garden and wash walls and love their rented home that they can't buy? Can you buy this house and let us love it for you and stay here and not move and let my little boys hide dead frogs under their beds because dead frogs are treasure don't you know?
Look how we love this place, we have people over and feed them and the kids all have sports days out in the nearly done garden, using bags of grass as obstacles......the grown ups stay upstairs and talk and listen to how far away the kids sound and then we go out and smile at the kids and say how great this house is. And stuff. I know that if I whine about how unfair it is that this couple with their kids aged 5 and 6 can afford to buy this place and we can't..... I am, at the same time, aware that it IS perfectly fair but just for now let me whine about how I wish they didn't want THIS house, grizzle, whine.
So,can you believe it? Have you stopped laughing yet? Isn't life a hoot?