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Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Leaps and bounds and the odd creep backwards.

I am in awe of Isaac lately, he is becoming such a real person, the man he will be.
I watch him and how hard he works to be in the world when it would be so easy to opt out. Speaking, outside the home is so hard for him, at times impossible and there are still so many occasions when my heart leaps for him and because of him.
He is happy when he knows exactly what is happening, he is obsessed with time, to the minute, he watches the clock and explains what is happening and when it should happen, he will point out that Sophie's clock is one minute behind the front room clock, so if he is in there ( and he loves being in there, if she is working late he shuts himself in and curls up in her bed and watches cartoons) he makes sure we know that at 8.01pm he will come out because that is really 8.00pm and that is bedtime.
If we go out in the evening, as we did last week, he will tell us the time, every half hour or so and worry about what time we will go home, it isn't fun for him to stay out late, he frets and becomes agitated until we explain when we will be going home, when we get home he has to be able to relax before he goes to bed, he can't walk in and go to his room, that would be horrible for him.
Every evening he will say, before he goes to bed " uniform on my bed and lunch in the fridge please" just because he feels better if he reminds me that this makes his life happy!
On friday he came out of school and told me that he was going to Oliver's party. On Saturday, at the bowling alley. The problem was he didn't have an invite but he was so insistent, so sure that Oliver said he was going and I had to take him.
Of course we didn't go because I had no invite, we knew not where or when or how...he was so cross and naturally it was me ruining his whole life because he longs to go bowling.
Today, as he ran out of his classroom a lady came up to me and explained that she was Oliver's mum, Liz, that Oliver was having a party and would love Isaac to come. Isaac's face lit up and then Liz asked him what he would like to eat at the party, she said there was a choice of pizza, fish fingers, chicken nuggets, sausage with chips. Isaac stared at me with his huge eyes and willed me to answer for him, I could see he was desperate to answer and his sweet mouth just would not open. I explained to Liz that Isaac sometimes has trouble speaking to people and asked if she would mind if he told me and I would tell her, of course she said she didn't mind at all and so I looked at Isaac and asked him what he would choose. Normally he will put his mouth next to my ear and whisper so quietly that even I can't hear, today he looked at me and said, very clearly, " All of it!"
The plan is that he leave school with Liz and Oliver after school on thursday and then they will drop him off after the party. He has never, EVER gone home with anyone after school, he has never gone to a party without my having to go along and talk for him. He is ( right now) completely unworried, he says he will go and will speak to Liz and Oliver. I will wait and see.
It's bitter sweet to see how he copes with every day life, I am so proud of him and I understand him, he can be so infuriating and touching. He is the kindest boy and such friends with Elijah, every day he watches out for Eli, every day he runs out of his class and straight over to Eli's class, he finds Eli and pats his head, puts his arm around him and asks how his day was and is he is happy. Then Seth comes out and he and Isaac fight all the way home!
I am so proud of the way he struggles against all the things that are hard for him, so endlessly touched by how desperately he still needs us close by to support him as he tries to speak, as he needs his worries explained. There is nothing I would change about this boy.


And also....I am pretty sure he couldn't be more beautiful, could he?




Blogger Tired Mom of Six said...

He is beautiful and could he not be? God made him! And you are the perfect Mum for him...
Love & mist you xoxox

1:49 am  
Blogger Cathy said...

He is truly splendid!

Love you !

3:00 am  
Blogger Leah said...

My heart is just a melted puddle on the floor.

3:10 am  
Blogger Jenn said...

He is beautiful. And so strong and brave. I wonder really what goes on in his head - what the world seems like to him. The comfort of mum having his uniform and lunch in the fridge - that's his certainty and you are always always sure to make sure that things are just so. He knows that, even if he doesn't say so. You are so perfect for him. You are both so lucky to have each other!

1:47 am  

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