Parents of teenagers understand why many animals eat their young.

So, my few days away have been full of thinking and heart searching and I'm glad I took some time to think before blogging, I don't think much, as a rule, I am one of life's reactors....something happens and I let my heart rule my actions, do it and think later. This time, I didn't. I truly believe that in the most important times, I am more guided that I allow myself to believe. So many times I have found myself in situations that would be expected to knock me sideways and yet I find that in those times I am at my most calm.
I'm going to write about what happened at the weekend, because that's what this blog is supposed to be about.
Everyone with small children knows about the dripping tap syndrome, that high pitched whining that penetrates your barin until you are about ready to give in to any demand no matter how outlandish just to get the noise to stop. I'm so way past that' giving in' that I suspect I could win an olympic gold medal for whine ignoring. H would maybe get the silver.
The mail man came with some parcels, which is usually time for such excitement with the boys, the wouldn't care if it was a parcel filled with pooper scoopers, they would ooh and ahh and say "let ME see"...but come on, it's nearly christmas, santa has been e.baying and so parcels are strictly no go for little boys eyes .... even the trendy hoodies for the big people have to be opened away from little eyes because the littler the eyes, the bigger the mouth!
So, mummy hid in the bedroom, door locked and was vaguely aware of the handle rattling and " let me in"s......only when the noise changed did I take note and stop and prick up my ears....
Surely not, second listen- and yes, indeed I could hear Jordan's voice, really loud Jordan's voice saying " you want some back? Come on....give me the chance"
Sort of immobilised for while I realised that I should get out and see what was happening and then immediately wished I hadn't.
Jordan had H pinned against the wall by his neck..his fist pulled back and about to slam it's way into my husband's face. As soon as he saw me, he stopped, stood stock still, arms by his side ... which is when h took over and it was plain to see that he was beyond rage...and something in my heart cried for him when I saw that although he was furious, and humiliated, his attempts to even move Jordan ( who is, remember 6' 5" tall to H's 5' 8") were futile.
I stepped in and in that miraculous, but not natural, way managed to be completely calm and move H away.
It seems that H, who was washing the dishes while I was hiding power rangers, was half watching the handle rattling and working on his silver medal, he took in that my gold medal was in the hat and carried on with the dishes. Jordan, who isn't aware that whine ignoring is an art, decided that he was going to save the day and came for Seth...picked him up and threw him on the sofa. Seth was unharmed and unworried but the papa bear in H came out....he went into the front room and saw the Seth throwing ( hmm maybe another olympic sport?) and told J to stop....Jordan answered back and it seems all hell broke loose.
My immediate response was the expected one, poor Jordan, bad H, until ( in my guided calm and watching mode) I witnessed, almost in a documentary on the animal kingdom way, Jordan almost puffing his chest and pretty much going for the kill in order to topple the leader of the pack and take over the throne.
It is one of the most difficult parts of having 2 sets of kids having to remind the big ones, time and again that WE are the parents. It drives me ( and H ) insane that these teenagers ( who know it all without ever actually having had learn any of it) constantly try to parent our babies, we can be right there, in mid conversation with one of the little boys and Sophie or Jordan will try and discipline them.
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!! If I want them to sit still, or be quiet, go to their room or get dressed I WILL TELL THEM. If H hates them jumping on the sofa, splashing in the bath, spilling dinner HE WILL STOP THEM! Worry about what you're doing wrong you pair of sleeping, farting, mess making, back chatting, pleasing yourself slormers.
Now it does drive me crazy but they are all my kids and so I get on with it and long for the day when H And I actually get to be the parents..... I think H must be seething and gritting his teeth much more than he lets on.
I had to imagine how I would feel if Rob ( H's son) had ever even raised his voice to these little people and no suprise to say that I would have shown considerably less restraint than H has all these months.
I have had a few days of seeing things through my husband's eyes... a new experience where my children are concerned and I must say that he's looking pretty good in the picture.
I understand more why so many animals push their cubs out into the big wide world when a new litter come along and failing that, why so many see no other option but to eat their young.
It's been a pretty good few days in that these big people, who feel they are all knowing and all wise thought that when H was out of earshot could add some fuel to the fire and get me on side...only to discover that I was very clear about how I feel towards any acts of mindless violence but actually, if pushed, would have to agree that it is time for them to both understand that H is my husband, he listens to me, he loves me and he would lay down his life for his sons.... we are raising these boys together and although we love them ( Jordan and Sophie) too, they don't have a say in how we raise the little ones, they don't have the right to discipline them or tease them, it doesn't matter a jot if they don't agree with any decisions we make regarding these boys, tough luck, keep your opinions to yourselves.
H and I have been married 6 years on sunday...they have been incredible years filled with more trials and 'excitement' than I ever would have envisioned....if we look back at the things we have been through we both take a deep breath and then a nervous chuckle..... we are in awe fo having made it through this far. The future looks sort of good and we are both excited about the way the boys are growing and learning. It will be a joy to raise them and we look forward to the day when we can just do it our way without quite so much 'help'and interference. I also look forward to the day when I am a grandma and can visit the children of my children and tell their parents how to do it...feed the kids with sugar, hand out really loud toys and go home!!! Oh revenge will be so sweet!