Just as it should be.

“ And now I bid unto all farewell, I soon go to rest in the paradise of God, until my spirit and body shall again reunite, and I am brought forth triumphant through the air, to meet you before the pleasing bar of Jehovah, the Eternal judge of both quick and dead. Amen.





So, it's done, my dad has gone and we said goodbye in a way so fitting this man that there were tears of such joy, pride and sadness, though the sadness is just for us, never him.
Dad's brother came and we think maybe he has been trying not to believe that his brother was dying, then gone. He seemed very fragile and we were aware how blessed we are in that we have a faith and true belief that dad isn't gone forever from us, just from this world. We have loved and been loved by him, his life was rich and filled with family and love, whether he thought he wanted it or not! We saw today such a bringing together of his life, people who have loved him for years, who remember him from so long ago. Tales of his service and devotion, again and again the fact that he was full of such integrity. Known for his love of his family and service to mankind.
Thanking people for coming to his goodbye and hearing "how could I NOT come?"
Once, when a relationship with a man I believed I was in love with came to an end, he cried and said that it was hard on him because not only would he not see me anymore but my whole family would be lost to him. Today I saw my sisters husband put his arms around her ex-husband as they carried a man they both loved into the chapel. When I saw 6 of the men most loved by dad and our family carry him with such pride and reverence it was impossible not to give release to some of the emotions such a sight brought out.
I saw a girlfriend my brother had more than 30 years ago standing as the man she had loved as a father was carried in.
I watched grown men weep and shoulders shake at the realisation that this man was lost to us for a while.
The mourners were so many that the chapel had to be opened out and made larger, the singing was such that I was in no doubt that somewhere was the spirit of a man conducting and rejoicing at such musical praise for his life.
We heard tales of his life, the great thing about a funeral such as this is that every single person involved in this day was known to, and loved by, my dad, from the funeral director, the bishop, the speakers, even the ladies who worked to set up a feast , all of it done with the perfection needed when someone wants their love to be evident. It was.
Apparantly we were unlike most mourners on the 20 mile trip in the posh car to the crematorium.... because we laughed, that legacy of fun came out, not irreverance, never that, just the abilty to laugh in any circumstance, the humour in any situation. As we drew into the beautiful grounds that held the crematorium, mum said " oh how thoughtful, look- they have labelled the lavatories so clearly, because you know, life and bladders go on" I thought the driver would choke! We even mentioned what a shame it was to be in such a vehicle and not be able to pose for pictures for fear of it being unseemly....guess what? The driver must have told the funeral director and he came up to us as we were about to leave and said "where's a camera then, I'd better get some pictures of you in this car hadn't I? " And he DID.


The family went for a great meal where the kids could run and play and we could eat and talk, a perfect end to the day really. I have to say that my little boys were remarkable, such good boys, Seth seemed to be so in role as he wept and looked so forlorn, repeating something that sounded so heartfelt and sad......I hated to tell that actually he had posted his favourite pen in the donations box and was mortified that it was locked and the pen was lost to him forever, he just looked to cute with his 3 piece black suit, gelled hair and tearstained face.....I felt we deserved for people to talk about that little boy who would miss his papa so!!!


Isaac was so overawed by it all he was immobilised and silent.

Elijah fell asleep in the glorious tender arms of titty Leah who is fabulous at soothing that squirmy maggot that is Eli into a slumber as soon as a hymn begins.
My mum, of course, was the very epitome of dignity, she oozes such serenity ( not lost on us that somehow none of us snagged that particular gene- darn it) She was thrilled that she had ordered a beautiful wreath of lillies for dad, when she saw it it was filled with daisies too, her most favourite of simple flowers.


So, now our work is done, as far as all the details of saying goodbye go, now we have to go on without him here, live in a way that ensures that when our time comes we can be sure of the same kind of goodbye, not one regret...not one moment of sorrow for things unsaid, deeds undone. A life that will see us meet up with dad and be able to look him in the eye and tell him that his example was exemplory and we were proud to follow in his footsteps, joking all the way and missing not a single chance to spread some of that joy around.
Bye my dad, for now.......watch me try and be as good a parent as you and mum have been. I will keep my promise and look after your Peggy, I will help Leah to have that life of her own and be unafraid of what life has to offer her.
I will keep that promise that was between you and me....you see if I don't.
I love you my dad, I will miss your face and long to see you, but I will be happy and I will try always to make others happy and glad that they have known me. When I cry, it will be because I wish that you were still here, if only for a minute. I am so proud to have been yours, to BE yours. Helen.