I slept.

Without a twitch or jump from 10.30 last night until 8 his morning. Actually my legs began to hurt at 9ish so I popped one of the scarey tablets and by 10 I was like drunken fool, thought I would lay down on the couch for a minute or 10 and Eli woke me up at midnight, I couldn't function, I walked into walls, I staggered and sniggered and somehow got me and him up the stairs and knew not a thing until 8 this morning.
I kind of felt pukey all morning, we went to a sweet little town to collect an i MAC. PC that H got on ebay. we had to drive through a ford to get out and the boys thought that was the bees knees...

We drove right along the sea front and the waves were crashing right up to the road ( 'course, as soon as H pointed the camera they stopped!) it is Torrential rain today, a day to sit inside and be cosy.

I feel good. Mellow ( me thinks that could be the new meds too that are also used for anxiety and stress, chill man, all's cool) Hope I don't get more stupid with these meds. I was thinking about what I know, about my mind the other day and came to the conclusion that I think I don't learn with my head. My head is a bit empty and rattley. I learn and remember and teach and function with my heart.
Everything I know and understand is about life, how to live and get the best out of people and living.
When I see or hear facts and figures my brain shrivells and whimpers, don't ask me to know stuff. Please don't ,because I can't. I am like Homer Simpson. I have just enough room in my brian for a few necessities, if I try and remember a new thing, an old fact gets pushed out. Honest.
If I had to remember my 12 times tables, chances are I would forget my name. Get me to memorise the states of America and I will forget where I live ( although I sometimes do that anyway)
My heart though, well that never forgets. I know who loves me, I know what they need, I even know what they need when they don't tell me because my heart gets a tug and my spirit hears the plea.
I have been known to frighten people I know and love because I see and know things they don't tell me.
I think we all have the capability to do this. We just have to be in tune with our hearts and spirits. Sometimes you will think or feel to do something bizarre...do it though, see what happens.

My sister and I were out one day in the summer, it was HOT HOT...we bought a lolly, a delicious cool lolly with fruit and ice cream inside.
We were enjoying them and suddenly I said
" Hey, Margeret B needs one of these"
"WHAT??"
"Margaret needs one of these, I feel it, come on"
We went, we bought a whole box and drove a few miles to this ladies house...laughing because well, how do you turn up and say you know someone needs something as daft as an ice lolly?
Knock knock...."Hello, Margeret, we're mad, you need some of these don't you?"
She looked and then she burst into tears. She was mid cycle of chemo for breast cancer. Her mouth was filled with sore blisters, she couldn't eat, her husband was away for 3 days and she had turned out her kitchen to try and find something cool and fruity to soothe her poor mouth. She had been crying because the shops were too far away and she was desperate. My heart heard her and my head listened. Clever heart, obedient head.

I don't mind a bit that my head can't remember stuff, maybe it needs to be empty to hear the things my heart tells it to do. I like having a heart that knows things, I hope that it gets more and more clever as my brain gets more and more stupid.
You can't go to heart school and learn things, you have to just live. You have to get your heart hurt to strengthen it, you have to allow your heart to take risks and ignore your head when it tells you to back off, be careful.

Praying makes your heart smart, if you pray a lot and ask for the chance to help others it will get so smart you'll hardly recognise it. If you cast your bread upon the waters it will come back buttered. If you hide what you have and try to keep it to yourself it will die and rust and you'll lose it. m

Lesson one in having a smart heart. Should have done this tomorrow, it's a bit of a sunday theme isn't it??


Oh the blob blog is up!