Oh alright...here we go, I suppose, hrumph.

Even though I woke up to the smell of just baked scones, even though there is strawberry jam and cream to go on them. I didn't eat any. I had slimfast....which actually I enjoyed, imagine.
I got dressed and instead of slipping on my too huge jeans that make me feel all righteous and thin, I pulled on a pair that actually fit, I have to undo them to get them on and when there are on, I can feel them. A reminder that although I have lost a lot of weight ( 45lbs) and gained back a bit ( 3-4lbs) I still have a very long way to go. ( 45lbs) If I felt THIS good having lost half the weight, well then I will go the whole way and feel so marvellous you might have to hold me down and smack my cheeks.
I told myself that if, after 4 weeks of eating like an idiot on self destruct mode, I have gained back only 4lbs max, imagine if I get back on track, it might start falling off again...so here I am giving it a go.
The weather is changing and that helps me, I am hopeless in the hot weather, I want picnics and ice cream. Cool weather has me making yummy vegetarian meals, baked potatoes, soups and good stuff. I can do this. I can. Yes.
I am hightailing it to Morrisons and am going to fill my house with good stuff that will cheer me and make me feel strong and full of energy. No more stodgy cross making stuff that the mouth likes and the head hates.
I shall one again be that woman who looks down on mere mortals who know not that will power and self righteousness are mine.
I will once again have people comment on how well I am doing, I will wake up ad know that I am marvellous and healthy and will get through another week of three little boys who have youth and naughtiness on their side but I have wisdom and size on mine, I just need the energy to back that up!
I will show that Julie Bo that anything she can do I can do too, excpet ride a bike pulling 2 kids, she's got me on that, I have 8 years on her, I am old, but not beaten. The scales are out Julie bo, I want those 4lbs gone by next week, reckon I can do it?
Lo..your surgery is over, you said you'd head back to WW ...gonna do it? Gonna put those cheesy burritos away? Gonna find low fat high taste foods to take it's place? Shall we 3 get out the recipe books and try to out do each other in the deliciousness stakes?
I'm on it, I'm doing it.....damn those scones, by the time I head to london to marry my H for eternity I want to feel a bit beautifuller and not cringe at having my picture taken waring white, you know that non colour that is not flattering, its is fattering. I don't want to try and hide behind a pillar or have a look on my face that says " Ack get it over with"
I want to smile and feel like I deserve to be beautiful and married to a bald headed old fart that looks gorgeous and smiley even though he eats scones and ice cream and anything he damn well likes.
So, here I am, saying all the right things and really believing them but knowing it is SO hard to start, why did I stop? Who knows but I did, stupid me. Today will be rough but I am going to find things to do to keep my hands busy so my mouth can't get them to pick up that food.
Ok...here we go. Wish me luck and tell me you're watching, I shall skulk over to my blob blog and tel you everything, I shall make your mouths water with my dinners. Here I go....I'm going, I am.....damn scones.