Manners maketh man.( edited to add something sort of funny

Funny how as we get older, things take on such different meaning. When I was 13 and at grammar school, I had a teacher that, at the time, seemed older than the hills, she was petite and wore buttoned up blouses, tartan skirts and she was probably about 40. She was so 'old' though, she used to boom in her terribly proper voice, "MANNERS MAKETH MAN!" and " Will you take that portmanteau off the desk young man!" We laughed at her, almost as much as we laughed at the german teacher who lived with her girlfriend and looked like a midget with incredibly bad hair.
I remember Miss Lobb because the older I get the more I understand what she was saying, manners kind of do make man, I am more drawn to people who have good manners and who speak nicely. I am less tolerant, the older I get, towards crassness and vulgarity.
I have always used words like splendid and glorious, I would tell my children their nappies were perfectly ghastly rather than 'gross'-- Not that it has made the slightest difference of course, to the way my teenagers speak, my ears are still regularly insulted by slang terms and phrases of the moment.
I have the most serene mother, she speaks beautifully and on the very rare occassion that she felt angry enough to swear she has reduced us to tears of mirth because, really......the worst she can belt out is 'bloody' and it sounds so fabulous it doesn't seem like swearing at all. We sat one afternoon, my siblings and I, trying to get her to say a word other than 'breasts' because get with it and cool, we eventually got her to say boob but gave up because it just didn't sound right.
My H can't swear, he tried once too, either you've got it, or you don't I suppose.
I love it ( can you see that this post is working up to another 'thankful for' post?) that because of the way I was spoken to, I have been able to live in many different situations and feel at home, fit in, adapt. I worked and lived with a family who worked and mixed with the leaders of our country, the lady of the house said to me one day " Helen, wherever you go, whoever you mix with, you will never be out of place, you have been raised beautifully. " Praise indeed. We had no money growing up but every now and then we would have tea in a cafe and would have to eat as if we were at the Ritz. We knew which cutlery to use, how to eat, how to speak.
I think my children know that too....I know they know it, it's such a great thing to teach and an important thing to learn.
I don't think I ever consciously thought about whether it was important to me to be married to someone who had the same manners...until I was married to someone who didn't. I was horrified to feel ashamed of my first husband and his lack of any idea on how to behave in public, he was incredibly funny and the life and soul of the party as long as it was in the working mans' club. ( SNOB she screamed! absolutely! Marvellous.)
To be married to H, who is the epitome of a gentleman, is heaven to me. Sometimes I think he may be a bit too quirky with his insistance that the youth of today call us MR and MRS and "how dare you use my christian name you young whippersnapper?"
It has taken 7 years to find something that Sophie can call him without his head turning purple, she calls him H, for real, just H, because it's not his first name and it's not Mr ..... and its not dad ,because that just didn't work somehow.
Amongst all the other things I am grateful for on the day before thanksgiving, all the obvious things like my health and my family, I am really really thankful that my whole life I have been surrounded by such gentle people who speak to me so nicely and who have shown me such respect by teaching me how great we can feel when we hear gentle things said to us. When we hear such speech, we feel worthy of good things.
I am thankful that I have such a love of the English language and a true belief that words have such power, just by speaking we show who we are and what we stand for.
I don't usually make resolutions in the new year, every now and then I just think of something I want to do that will make me a better person and try and do it. Lately I feel I want to work at how I speak to people, use better words, it amazes me how children pick things up when we don't even realised they are around. At Jordan's workplace they are all working at not swearing ( he works in a pub remember) he said it is the funniest thing to hear all the barstaff and the manager substituting swear words for whatever comes into their heads, I would love it hear it too, I guarantee that before long it will be a habit for all of them to say Fishsticks instead of another F word. That'll be a great pub to go to won't it?
So, thankyou mum and dad ( who never swore until he was on his death bed when I heard him say BUGGER, hysterical, he would say " Oh FLUFF under the bed ) I wish my kids could say the same but it's never too late is it?
I love hearing H say 'dagnabbit' he sound more of a man than any other man I have ever had the priviledge of fighting with.
Manners maketh man indeed. Spot on Miss Lobb.

Of course, it can always backfire on you, this very evening, after I had posted, Seth was sitting with me and was wriggling about in the chair behind me.
"Hey! Steady! Careful..I'm behind you, don't squash me, I'm here and from where I am ....well shall I say you are looking very rotund"
The kid is six.... SIX! Little stinker.