I am all unneccessary lately. If I were more uncouth I would say I hardly know my arse from my elbow, but I am the epitome of ladylike so unneccessary it is.
One minute up, the next down, one moment cup half full, the next, some bugger drank half my drink.
It is wet and grey and windy, suits my mood perfectly I suppose. Every now and then we get a glimpse of sunshine which reminds me that life is not all bleak and soon we can fill tubs with pretty flowers and feel fluffy and hopeful. We hope. Then it rains again, sideways ...in your face, which makes one feel hopeless and wet and very grumpy.
Shall I drag out some updates for you, assuming that you will care rather than lose the very will to live and hit the 'next blog' button?
Baby Coby is on his way back to our hometown, recovered enough not to need the marvellous yet far away childrens' hospital but not well enough to be home, in his moses basket surrounded by new baby things and adoring family, he will be in the hospital where he was born for a while until those tiny lungs can cope with all that breathing and stuff. Get well little man.

Sophie. Well, she is closer to leaving home, it is all confidential apparantly which is, I suppose, a polite way of saying mind your own business mother. Not easy to do but getting easier. I have spoken with doctors and teachers and spewed my guts and dirty linen so that everyone that matters is aware of what is going on should they hear from social services etc.
A couple of times I have been close to worrying that she isn't ready to move out and the good Lord has seen to it that she does something to show me that ready or not, it is time. I can only hope that she benefits from the help she is getting and doesn't shoot herself in the foot.

Ugh, see, flat writing, dreary soul.
Not sad though, I write well when I am sad, when I feel like this I bore myself.
H and I had a delicious lunch out today, no kids, we talked and planned what we should do with the boys, the great thing about having this 2nd chance is the ability to see relatively clearly where we need to change what we have done in the past.
The most important decision we made is that we can't wait til the boys are teens to start teaching them how to behave as teens. Right now is when we need to saturate them with how to be good people. Teach them now how to work well, serve each other and others. Good manners, faith in great things, respect and service.
If we can teach them how great it feels to accomplish even small things, that will stay with them.
H is going to contact an elderly lady at church, she lives alone and is Seth and Isaac's sunday school teacher. He is going to ask if he and the 2 bigger boys can go over and work in her garden, do any house repairs etc. Show them how great it is to work and help their teacher, how satisfying it is to do a good job.
Amazing how realising that there is no such thing as a day off in parenting has made a difference.
Everything takes on a new importance, the boys are like different children with the added attention, I'm not saying that we are spending every second entertaining them but little things like stories at bedtime, time taken to let them help cook and do dishes, seperate bathtimes so that each one gets that time to relax and chat with me. ( So much better for me too, that manic hour of throwing them all in together was misery!)
They listen more when we ask them to do something, they are more ready to help out and do as they are told. I do believe they are fighting less between themselves too although I wonder if the day will ever come when Isaac doesn't 'need' exactly the toy that Eli just chose or Eli want the very thing Isaac is playing with!

This is boring, I shall save you from me. I hope my brain works again tomorrow.