And Seth's tale....

The Sporty Boy and the Lazy Mother

Once upon a time, there lived a sporty boy named Michael Jordan. And his mother, Mrs. Wright, and she was even lazier than a fat pot-belly pig. And Michael was always treated like a slave. He made lunch, dinner, and breakfast. He was always working even though he’s only three years old. He couldn’t have a one second rest. But when he was fourteen he worked until Wednesday and the day after Wednesday he said “mother, please will you try and lose 18 pounds, because you are really lazy.”
His mother said “if you don’t like working you can do anything you like, but you have to let me tidy up.” So he went up stairs he made a giant mess. He grabbed his basketball and went to his mother and told her that he couldn’t find his ball, but now I found it. Then he went outside and his mother tidied up the mess in his bedroom. Then went to play some sports with Michael after lunch Michael’s mother said “can I play sports with you.” Michael said “yes, you can!”
So they lived happily ever after.
The End

What does THIS tell us? Honestly, he could really hurt a mothers tender heart if she didn't understand that his asperger brain tells him that a mother who doesn't do anything that is important to him, doesn't actually have much worth. What use is a person who just cleans and shops and does laundry if she doesn't play basketball? None at all. He doesn't have any of those smooshy heart feelings, you know, darned emotions that get in the way of everything. He likes me stroking his face at bedtime and appreciates that but I think, in reality that he would scarcely notice if I wasn't here.
We are working on how people's feelings are hurt when we voice opinions like
" why are YOU here? I don't want to see you" or " why do I need you when I have my dad?" He is always so mortified when we point out that he HAS hurt my feelings, he cannot understand why the simple truth can make me feel sad. To him, it is a fact that his dad fulfills all his needs, I am just here for the ride.
He functions so much easier in the world than Isaac but emotionally, Isaac is more in tune with how people feel. If someone falls over and Seth sees, he will be quick to tell them how they could have avoided such a calamity, " should look where you're going then shouldn't you?" or " well, why did you climb uo there then?" he really thinks he is being helpful, it doesn't occur to him that comfort or sympathy might be nice.
When I had a particularly bad case of hives once, when I was covered in blistering welts, Isaac stroked my leg and gave me his blanket to hold, Seth glanced sideways and said " don't scratch it then."
I'm not too sure what, if anything, can be done to help him be more compassionate, whether it is possible to teach someone to 'feel' emotions. H is very unemotional, if I cry he looks like a deer in headlights, I long gave up on longing for romance or whispered sweet nothings. Seth is his son, with bells on.
If we ask Seth to turn on a lamp..he will spend 1o minutes explaining ( whining) about he has to do everything in this house, how he is basically a slave, I think he actually believes it. His story tells how he works like a slave....until Wednesday.
I have made him sound like a monster in this post and he really isn't, he has the most incredible sense of humour, he is bright and delighful, polite and pleasant ( usually) he just doesn't get emotions, I hope he can learn about them because they are so what makes life happy.
I have lost 10lbs, only 8 to go then. If I play basketball with him tomorrow maybe we will live happily ever after, what d'ya reckon?
We can collect the house keys tomorrow and start moving boxes etc over ...H is going to work on the garden ( which is waist high now) maybe he should take Seth and show him what real hard work is, while lazy mother stays here and does nothing.
The End.