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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Friday, September 07, 2007

Hello left hand, said the right hand..what have you been up to?

I won't bore you with details ( or maybe I will, who can tell, once I start there are times I find it hard to stop, did you know that about me?) all I can say is that here in the UK, the country I love and am so happy to live in, there are different benefits agencies. It would appear that one has no idea what the other is doing. So, having spoken to one ( the one who said that I am no longer eligible for benefits) for several days, and today was told to call another one, it would appear that even though ( and I beg to differ on their decision because I am a scared old bag who shakes at the slightest challenge and although my blog would lull anyone into believing I am a bit confident and brazen, actually I can usually scarcely remember my name, my address is beyond me, ask me where I lived 3 houses but only 9 weeks ago and I say things like " that big house, the one I really liked, you know it was near the post office" ) I am deemed fit and able to work full time, the fact that I am here with a husband who can't go out to work ( although in theory he could, in reality it isn't going to work out that way and we have long accepted that and love having him here doing so much that I cannot imagine having to do myself) and my Isaac who needs extra care, not to mention the other 2, well it would seem that it is understood that I am needed here and the money is not being stopped, nor reduced or changed in any way.
Thankyou Lord and also England.
I sort of felt the last couple of days that people would wonder about H in all this. My answer to that is well, H is H and this is my blog. I don't want to discuss him as if he isn't here ( when he is..right over there eating his rhubarb and apple crumble and custard) and what his issues are are not for discussion. Not here anyway, here he just gets praised and honoured because he is a perfectly splendid man. He wears good hats and slippers ( usually not at the same time) he is my steadying thing.
When I weep and rage and panic and wail, he sits and he waits. He pats arms and he strokes backs, he does dishes and he clears jungles. He says " good job and well done and OK, very good" when I say I am just going here or there or need, or want or have done.
When I have been a snarling bear with the little people who make my ears bleed at times, when my patience has snapped and unravelled, he quietly says things like "hmm, overwhelming tonight, that Eli is a git huh?" and I know it isn't just me but he can manage to hold in his grumpiness until I am in control again.
I used to wish that he was a whizz of a business man , a financial genius who would bring home huge pay cheques and let me spend them. I often wondered where my determination to marry for money the 'next time' had gone and how loud the angels had laughed when my heart sort of tugged in this man's direction. I don't think that way anymore because I see 3 little boys who have a life I could never have imagined, not even in my most dreamiest of dreams.
I see him putting together an 'office' for little boys to sit in and relax.

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I hear him reading and bringing magic into little boys' lives every day.
Riches indeed.
That said the 'git' has come back downstairs, I should go and be nice to him because he has been a particularly annoying git today and might be wondering if I am ever going to be nice to him again. Even the goofy smile and puppy eyes don't cut it when he has been a gitlike as he has been today. I do like to send them to sleep feeling that they made it through another day without being sold to the gypsies though, so I shall go over and grit my teeth ( one less in number and gaping hole seems still to be throbbing like the very devil) and be a nice mummy in the hope that he will please go to sleep and stop talking to me because it is 9.45 and I stop liking children at 7pm. Maybe it is time to stop the naps after all. Damn.

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6 Comments:

Blogger rachel said...

I, for one, have never even thought twice about H like that, Helen. Your life is just that: yours. I am thanking the Lord (and England, of course) for your benefits, though. Phew!

I have a couple of gits of my own today. One of them (of the four-year-old variety) made me cry for 2 hours. How do you get past the hurtful things they say? I know you've dealt with that before. Any advice?

10:19 pm  
Blogger The other me said...

Yes, sell him, quickly. Either that or just look right at him and say " well, how unkind, you really hurt my feelings so I think you should go away. Go into your room and I will call you when I think you can be kind and not make people sad anymore" Being calm works and they truly hate being sent away. When you call him back ask him if he is sorry for being so unkind. Usually they are...unless they are Seth, who will look right at me and say
" no, not really because I was just telling the truth" and then I give in and eat chocolate and hand him over to his dad. The end.

10:32 pm  
Blogger Becca said...

You are so funny.....I too stop liking children at 7 pm. I am glad that your benefits an stuff are not being touched. I hope that tomorrow is a good day for you too Helen =)

11:20 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually H's job is rather hard and he is good at. Probably much better than I. You are lucky to have him so involved and good with the boys. Try and just be thankful for that and not think too much about what he isn't. They angels could still smile down, it ain't over yet. He may invent some incredible thing and you will all move to some posh area we can't even visit.

12:45 pm  
Blogger Julie Q said...

I'm glad the money situation worked out Helen. That is wonderful news.

Bummer on the naps! But yes, sounds like it is time to give them up.

My Mom used to threaten to sell my sister to the gypsies. :) We knew (or hoped) she was kidding, but we always wondered if she could.

1:01 pm  
Blogger LosingSanity said...

So glad the benefits were straightened out! And, nah, i never wonder about H. He is doing a great job with the boys and the things you tell on here about him taking them for hikes, reading to them, bringing stories to life, etc, just melt my heart. Those boys are building memories with their dad that will last a lifetime! Nothing beats that at all!

And, I stop liking children after about 9pm. Earlier on days when they are full of mischief.

4:05 am  

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