All in a day.

We had the parent teacher consultations today. I never know how I feel about these. With Isaac, they seem to be unnecessary as we are in constant contact with his teacher, we make sure we check his reading diary and it takes such a while to get him in the classroom every morning ( get there early so he doesn't have to deal with crowds, put his lunch on the lunch shelf, hang his back pack up, put his reading bag in the right drawer, choose a reading book and sit and read, say goodbye, take him back in again and say goodbye again, peel him off my arm, reassure him that afternoon maths is a OK, he will be fine, P.E is on tuesday and thursday, YES tuesday and thursday, every week, yes. Every week, even this week, P.E is fun, you like P.E, must go back in because the bell has gone and YES I will come and get you at 3.30. PLEASE, go back in. I love you too. Bye, bye.........bye Isaac, well done...bye bye) So you see, what can they tell me that I haven't already picked up? Oh that he takes 40 minutes to write one sentence that is 3 lines long? Cute. HE is writing,hoorah,writing used to be scary thing and we will not do it, 40 minutes to write three lines without any spaces or punctuation? Brilliant, happy me.
Seth.....funny little boy. Quite brilliant. Above average in most things, needs to practise writing his numbers and speeding up a bit. Ever the perfectionist, he is slow and steady and will not rush for anyone, nuh uh, he wants it right and he wants it in his own time. We spoke about the fact that he is by far the youngest in the year, can read beautifully and then Mr teacher said " and then his spelling" to which I replied " ahh, that's another matter" Mr teacher's head shot up and he said " No! Actually he is really good..look" and he showed us a chart with all the kids on it.......we were so busy mentally high fiving and thinking 'NA NA NA NA NA' that neither if us thought to ask how many words they were checked on but there was our boy with the number 136 next to his name, the nearest number to his was 116. Highest in the year, brilliant boy. Genius boy with no front teeth because at LAST they fell out this lunchtime, how cute he looks and sounds with his gappy smile and lispy voice.
And be still my heart, just went in ( 1.30am) because the teeth are under his pillow and the fairies have to come, he is 7, soon fairies? Pah! Kneeling on the floor trying to sweep under the pillow for those teeny tiny teeth.....he stirred and said " They haven't even been yet?"
" Who? The fairies? Tut tut, where did you put the teeth?"
"Under my pillow....."
" Let me see....."
Lifted pillow and he felt the envelope with £2 in.....grabbed it and fell right back to sleep with the biggest grin on his tiny little face. Moments like those are what makes life worth living.
So, good boys both, nice evening except it dragged on so. Out of school at 3.30 Mac Donalds for tea, back to school for a round of basketball, Isaacs appt. at 5.30, Seth's at 6.......time went very slowly I tell you, apart from the eating time because they just about inhaled that and we were in and out in record time just as we wanted to take at least an hour!
The rest of the day was an arse of a day, one of those I am trying not to get used to, bloody hell kind of day that made me weep and hiccup and wail and swear and get absolutely nowhere apart from realising that we are in our own in this housing thing. Boring boring for you all. Worrying for us here. Nothing we can do. Endless red tape and stupid unhelpful people that have made things so much worse for us and then left us hanging.
All I can do is try and shut it all out, try and think of our holiday ( that now is fast becoming something else to worry about as our money is reduced again and again and now we have this big deal that we have committed to so far that we have to carry on, but honestly? Bitten off way more than I can chew on that one, planned and organised when we were living on £750 more a month than we are now.)
I am thinking and planning and trying to come up with a way to make things better and have the holiday back to an exciting thing to think about. More work. My skin flared up again today. Legs, arms, hands all vivid red and itchy and just the last straw really. Give me a break. Please.
I did fall into a coma like sleep on the sofa at some stage this evening, must have been earlyish, woke at 11pm all alone, H had gone to bed, am all stiff where I was lying funny. I do love a good snooze though. Naps are impossible during the week at the moment as School starts at 8.50, Eli is out at 11.30, boys out at 3.30. Not long enough in between the various drop offs, getting home and having to leave for the pick ups, for me to curl up in my glorious bed and sleep. If I take a nap I have to do it properly, PJs on, dark, quiet and leave me alone for 3 hours, anything less and I don't bother trying as it makes me so GRUMPY!
I can't believe that Elijah will be at school, big school, in his uniform, from January. Where did the time go? I think that when he starts school it will be time for a big shake up at home too. I am trying so hard to get past all the things that worry me, I want to be able to take control of our lives and get into a situation where I am in control. I am tired of my whole life being run by faceless people who can make me so miserable.
What can a woman do who has spent 22 years at home raising children? What a CV ( resume) I have to present!! Oh dear. What can a 45 year old nervous wreck do to support a family? I am sure there is someone out there who would love to pay me to enrich their lives, what do you think? Yeah, me too.