See, here's the thing...

You know how sometimes you don't want something, until someone says you can't have it and then you're all "LET ME HAVE THAT!" ? Yes. Every day I have thought of something to write on my blog that I am not writing anymore because I am SO over it. The first day I was really quite happy to not think about blogging and bask in the glorious feeling of not having to try and be entertaining and funny and thought provoking and witty. ( Because I am all those things all the the time on my blog, I AM!)
Then I would see or hear something funny or think of something profound ( heh!) and immediately want to come here and share it, write it down so that I can look back in years to come and remember. Like Elijah at the grand old age of 5 years and 7 months announcing with HUGE pride and such surprise that "Hey!! Guess what! I actually pulled a bogie RIGHT OUT OF MY NOSE!" Like he hadn't a clue where they had been coming from his whole life.
I would think about how I would word it and then remember that I wasn't doing that anymore...darn it.
I am incredibly intolerant of people who announce they are leaving message boards or make a big song and dance about how they won't be doing THIS anymore because they are too important and have a life to live and THIS is all so beneath them now..so they say I AM LEAVING and we all say "Please don't" and they don't reply although we all know they are refreshing every 3 minutes to see who is saying don't go....and then they come back.

Hello! I'm back!

I am having a lovely time being busy. I have weeded and scrubbed, painted and shopped, I have walked and shopped and painted some more. I have planned and breathed in fresh air and I have missed boring the life out of anyone who comes by to see, in painful detail, everything I have done. I admit it, I heart blogging. I do also admit that I don't want to feel I must do it every day though, a happy medium is on the horizon, for heaven's sake why didn't I think of THAT earlier?

I am so excited at the thought of spring being right around the corner. We have had a few days of brighter sunshine, still a little cold but to have sunshine when I wake and bright clear skies, to have been able to be outside and clean the front of the house, weed out the tubs, get things ready for flowers and beautiful things...oh my heart sings! I have even checked out the long term weather forecast to discover promises of a spring so splendid we will soon forget the long and colder that ever winter we have endured. I feel I am coming alive and every day is filled with doing little things to make life more enjoyable. I am beginning to love this house, walking in to the smell of new paint, seeing the changes taking place.....wonderful.

Sophie is flying to Boston on wednesday, I was so looking forward to feeling smug at not having to fly, I was so sure I would be so happy to be staying on solid ground...but here I am every bit as nervous at the idea of her flying alone, I may as well have gone as well! I know she will be fine, Dan is taking her to the airport and will help her do all the confusing check in palaver, then Cathy will be right there to welcome her at the other end, all she has to do is wait for 3 hours in the airport and find the right gate, I know she can do that because she was the one that found where we had to go in December. She is also completely unafraid to ask if she does get lost. The thing is I am so afraid of flying that I am even afraid when one of my children is about to do it, with Dan I never ask what time his flights are so I can't actually sit wondering where he is and if he is on the plane yet, with Sophie I DO know....gah.
I am so excited for her, I am honestly not at all envious, I do love to shop in the states but I don't have the money this time anyway so she is going with a list and enough cash from me to pick up those things we would hate to live without. We shall look forward to her returning and our cupboards being replenished once more with all our favourite things.
I wish I could be a fly on the wall as Cathy sees the changes in my girl, everywhere I go I hear from people how different she is, how happy she looks, how well she seems. I hear every single day from people that have seen her at work and how their day is brightened by her yelling with delight at seeing them, she gets away with leaping up from her cash register to greet friends and family, people smile when she yells halfway down the store as she sees someone she knows. This week she came home from work with a letter from head office, someone had written in and said that Sophie was the most delightful person ever encountered, saying that she had played with the customers children, allowed them to scan some items, had been cheerful and friendly, the general manager praised her and told her she was exactly the kind of person they want working for them.
What a change from this time last year when we couldn't ever imagine a time when she would be happy..when we were even sure that she wouldn't survive much longer.
Life can be so good and when I look at this child of mine, who is so loud and so outrageous, I am so thrilled that she is so happy, that she has beaten such demons. I am so excited for her to have fun in Boston...I am sure we will see pictures and updates every day on face book, she has the flashiest new pink camera from her other mum in Boston, she will take a million pictures while she is away and I will look at every one when she gets home.
This house will be very quiet and empty while she is gone ( which isn't necessarily an awful thing!) She is my friend. At last.