It's MOTHERS DAY!

What a splendid day I can't remember ever having such day wonderful mothers day. It started very early, at 1am I was woken by the hallway light going on, our door doesn't close properly and so when the light is switched on it wakes me up, grumble, grump feeling sure that Sophie turned the light on I went out to get cross with her, but it wasn't her, no sign of anyone.
My poor legs hurt so much I thought I should go and get some paracetemol or something, in the kitchen as I was getting in a drink, in bounds Seth, wide awake and so happy..... " IT'S MOTHERS DAY!!" Bless his face.
I told him that it was the middle of the night and that he really should get some sleep " but I want to cook you breakfast with daddy" I told him that daddy would be sure to wake him and he could cook breakfast then. It took him 2 1/2 hours to get back to sleep, he was so worried he would miss the excitement.
I woke at 7am and hrumph, how awful, had to just stay in bed until I had been surprised ....8am, little boys and daddy came up with bacon, eggs, sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. Sweet hand made cards and beautiful flowers. What a way to start the day.
Church was lovely, singing children and little hand wrapped gifts and cards.
When I got home we ate lunch and I found on my bed, the most fabulous array of skin care creams, hand lotions, make up and a beautiful bag...this must be from Jordan who hadn't been home when we left and was already at work when we got home. I still haven't seen him but I'm sure it must have been his gift to me.
After dinner cooked by H ( fried chicken, corn, potato salad and beans) I took out a tub of Ben and Jerry's chocolate and fudge brownie ice cream, sitting in my chair with 3 little boys around me, mouths open like little baby sparrows waiting to be fed, better than worms they were rewarded with gobs of delicious ice cream and what joy in those moments of sharing with these little people. Shame that the ice cream sent them into a frenzy of couch jumping and squealing until threats of early bed calmed them down, 30 minutes of watching diving with whales did the trick, hoorah for whales!
I will try and post pictures tomorrow of cards and flowers, too comfy and relaxed to take any right now. My silky soft hands, with manicured nails are ready to fold in blissful relaxation while I watch some good telly, or even 'the Queen' DVD.
I feel some change in the air, spring is bringing it's lively thoughts and intentions and I am hoping that any day now my energy and enthusiasm will be bursting forth. This year has so much to offer and I want to be ready to enjoy it. Little things are beginning to break through this horrible misery that has been with me. At last I can see little sprigs of hope that the winter is over and it's time to look out and see the good stuff again. I do so poorly with the bleak weather, my mind gets steeped in the greyness and misery. Next winter, we get a 4 week break from the
good ole English wind and rain and will all benefit from the Californian sunshine and warmth. I should get one of those light boxes and sit in front of it every day, sunshine is my medicine.
Tomorrow is another day, what a shame to waste any of them. I have been reminded so often lately how short this life is.
An old friend died recently and the bugger of it was, she wasn't old at all. 48. Damn cancer of course. I hadn't seen her since we drove away from Utah with our tails between our legs and no idea where we would end up.
She was the reason I met H, she showed me the online singles thing that introduced me to him, made sure I went to meet him, encouraged and cajoled
There was a feeling of disappointment on both sides and also I think, ( I know) on my side, shame and embarrassment that meant we never spoke again. I have oft been sad about that and since I heard that she had died, that has deepened. Of course it is too late to do anything and anyway, actions done out of guilt or because someone is dying mean nothing, in my opinion, which is why, even when I knew she was dying I did nothing. We go through this life and allow pride and shame to dictate what we do and how we behave. Sad that.
What would I have done differently 4 years ago, if I had known that this lovely, stubborn, proud and kind lady would die so soon? Who knows, and it may be in another life when I meet her and we can laugh about how unimportant these things were that we fell out over. I know that already, to her, they don't matter anymore, if they even did at all. She was generous to a fault and had an amazing outlook on life, always seeing things in an eternal perspective and rarely as something here and now. She was very proud and fought any kind of help from any source. Her first battle with cancer was done without anyone but one or two close friends knowing about it, never stopping, not crying, not complaining, just getting on with it and only revealing what she had been though when it was done, beaten, won. Damn beast came back though and on the 3rd round it beat her. 48.
If stories like this and there are far too many of them around, if these aren't enough to make the rest of us get up, look around us and make a conscious decision to make every day count, then shame on us.
Sorry Jackie, bye bye, tomorrow I will make my day count. Say hello to my dad if you see him.