think I feel a bit sick......edited to whine some more!

The good news is, we won't have to show anyone else around, we can live like pigs and boil fish and throw chip wrappers on the floor.
I am probably a bit annoyed that no-one tells us anything, I took Eli to nursery and came back to see the sign. I say probably because to be annoyed would take energy that I don't have, I use all my energy scratching my arms and dry heaving.
We are naught but a detail that pays rent while being tossed aside. Oh well, now we HAVE to get a council house, right?
I never ever want to feel this helpless again ( but somehow I feel it isn't over yet)
I see, as time goes by that this thing has been planned meticulously by our landwoman( not feeling like she a lady much at all right now) right down to when she would get our last rent cheque. She won't go without a blasted penny while we scrabble around trying to get what we need to move to wherever we get put. She's perhaps not as stupid as her letters make her appear, maybe she just can't transfer that sneaky onto paper.
I have been a scrubbing demon this morning....my home smells divine, I was about to have a lovely nap to make up for not sleeping last night, now I am all stomach knotted and fretful......bugger.
I think, in a minute I will convince myself that this is a good thing, all the wondering taken away, and no more strangers parading through the house etc. just looks kind of scary to see SOLD outside the window and still not have any idea where we are going.
I don't like this ride. there isn't even a sturdy railing to hang onto while we are being catapulted towards uncertainty, pity there's no stop button, we on it til it flings us off.

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this really is horrible, I called the council to make sure they had the papers I took in yesterday, yes, they do. Then we begin the chicken game again.....
** just slotting in here with a word, if any comments or emails tell me to get a job, send H to get a job so we can buy a house, I will track you down and punch you. I am aware that if we worked it would be easier to rent or buy but we can't work, we are decrepit and sick and at the very bottom of the usefully employable pile. Sucks but there we are.**
So he said " so you should use your time wisely " ( oh, you mean scrubbing and packing and scratching and explaining to children who ask over and over where they are going to live that we don't know but it will be OK) he also said " just because they sold doesn't mean you have to move out.....get them to pay your deposit for a new rental, find a new rental, stay where you are and make them take you to court ( oh right...court costs and lawyers and eviction orders and bailiffs, yeay just what we need, shut up and get me a damn house!!)
then I got the talk about how few houses there are and how he will be working on our case tomorrow but he can't speed anything up because it can't BE speeded up and maybe I should use my time wisely and find myself a house.
CHICKEN! You'll break before me....betcha can't hang about and wait, betcha you go out and find a rental before I get off my arse and find you a council house and even if I had one here right now I wouldn't tell you because we want you to find one for yourself and not make us sweat and move and actually see if we can help.
I know someone who was in this position and she took her kids to the housing association, stood there and said " they're yours, house them, I am sick with worry, there is nothing I can do, take them, I'll sleep in a bus shelter" Can you imagine? I can't actually but it worked...she got a house.
I know it is tough, I know there is a shortage of housing but it isn't impossible, I know they can do it, somehow. So they need to do it because I simply cannot, I do not have it in me to go through the whole degrading process of trying to convince rental agencies that we are good people, good tenants, reliable people. Waiting and wondering and hoping and praying and then being told no, again, not good enough, again. Then, maybe we ARE good enough, hooray, someone lets us rent their house, pay the mortgage for them, love their house and look after it. Stick with all their requirements and rules. Grow to love the house and then SMACK....get out.....move...do it again.......I can't . I really can't. The house is sold, my soul isn't.