So, for my thousandth ( is that a word?) post, some GOOD news.

Although my narcissistic self is loathe to detract from the the comments being left after post 999, HOORAH people love me, bring it on etc etc. Don't stop, I like it.
I am able to tell you good folks, who have listened so patiently to my enever ending whining and whittering about landlady from stupidsville, we have an end in sight.
An acceptable end at that.
I have been fair eaten away with the injustice and rage of the whole situation, how DARE she keep our money? LOOK! LOOK at the HOUSE I CLEANED on the internet priced at £249.950, with pictures of all the rooms I CLEANED. Mutter mutter, itch scratch, mutter, complain, ad nauseum.
Today, I had a marvellous idea, why not look and see if she is a member of an ombudsmen estate agents thingamijiglet. Why, yes SHE IS! This is great news, aha! Gotcha lady and all that.
I found the address of the company she is with, I wrote them an email because she must pay, she must be made an example of, how dare she play with ME?
So I wrote an email and before I hit 'send' the real me came back, the one that my mum and dad raised, that cleaned that house because I knew I should, because it was the right thing to do.
The real me shows up at all the most inopportune moments, she ruins many a good chance to retaliate, she didn't used to, when we were both younger she egged me on, told me what to say, gave me the confidence to hit out, say what I thought, show the buggers who was boss.
Age and experience has taught the real me to be a nice lady, to step back and work it out. So, the real me knew that she had to give landlady one more chance. Just one.
So, I called the office that she runs, she doesn't answer calls, she has a manager that does that so I thought I would call him and just say that I had the address for the ombudsmen and that I was about to write a complaint and let them deal with it all.
" Hello, terrible estate agency here, stupid landlady speaking, how may I help you?"
Oh my goodness, wobbly bowels but marvellously steady voice replied
" Why landlady! Helen Pissedoff here"
" Oh, er, Oh, Hello Helen, what can I do for you?"
"Well, Landlady, what are we going to do about this money situation?"
Long chat, very enlightening chat where I felt better, she felt better and the air was cleared, she did try to say
" Helen, that house really wasn't too bad you know, was it?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"The house, it really wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Yes, it was. You know it was, there was poop all up the walls, every carpet was covered in dry vomit, yes, B, the house was very bad and you know what else? You know I take pictures don't you, you have SEEN me take pictures remember? The house was bad when we took it over, tell me B, how was it when we left?"
"You left it beautiful, you really did. What do you want to do about the money?"
"Well H and i have spoken and decided that we are willing to split the difference, you owe us £1.010 you send us £500, we'll take it"
"But......"
"but nothing, you understand that if I take this through the courts you will be ordered to pay me 3 times that deposit don't you?"
"Yes, but you left the tenancy early"
"We left TWO tenancies early, didn't we? We left the barn FOUR months early, we left the last house ONE month early, so we should pay you ...why?"
" I don't have any money"
" I understand that things are tough for you, I do, it must be awful but we gave you that money, you were supposed to invest it, not spend it, that money is ours and we simply cannot afford to walk away from it. This offer is a good one, pay us £250 this month, £250 next, whatever, just pay us £500"
" I don't have any money, I am losing everything and I do not even have £250"
"well, what can you do about that? "
She said she can probably get us some right now, then she will write and tell us what she will do about the rest.
I feel that a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, it isn't even the money, it's the fairness. The levelling of justice or whatever the saying is. She admitted that the money is ours, that it isn't hers, she told me that we had left the house in a great state and she admitted that we had always been impeccably behaved as tenants. That's what mattered. I have been consumed with the injustice of it and was enraged that we had worked so hard and done what was right, while she appeared to be ignoring us and tearting us so poorly.
She told me how she wakes up every day and wonders how she will get through the day, that she knew she should write to me but couldn't think what to say or how to tell me that she doesn't have any money.
I imagine that we will get some money, somehow that is secondary now to the fact that she acknowledged that we were good tenants and that she had treated us badly.
I think I might itch less tonight. We can but hope.
I took the boys to see 'The waterhorse' today, glorious. As the movie began we saw some wonderful scenery and I turned to Isaac and said in my best ( which is terrible) Scottish accent
" That there's in scoretland"
He turned and said right back ( in the most splendid scottish accent, how does he know how to do that??) " Aye, Ah noooooo"
I was flabberghasted, I laughed out loud and said " Isaac! That was a JOKE!" We have repeated the same sentences over and over again and have laughed just as hard every time! Isaac told a joke and got it very, very right. What a grand day that was.

Not always the way it seems.

So, the great news is that we have the house, pretty much for certain. Sally the lovely agent was good to her word and she called to say that all our paperwork came back great and as long as the landlord hasn't changed his mind, it's ours 28th Jan, just over 2 weeks. New home.

The less great news is that because I didn't listen to my mum ( and you know we should unless they are stupid and not real mums) we made one mistake that has pretty much ensured we can't sue the slumlord, I mean landlady. She wins. For about 3 seconds.
We will lose that £750, which means we are about £400 down on the money we need to move into the new house. I think I may have sold the trampoline which brings it down by £100.
We will have to struggle and worry and be a bit poor for about a month. Then we are done. New house, new HOME, new start, new landlord, new beginnings.
We will have a clear heart and a fresh page.
Landlady will have £750 of our money, just once more. Then? Well then she has another empty home, another unpaid mortgage. Another house that no-one will want because she hasn't taken care of it.
I felt unmentionable rage for about 15 minutes when I discovered that if we proceed with court action, it will mean as much trouble and misery for us, as her. Life sometimes just isn't fair and for that short time I honestly could have pummeled her face if I had been anywhere near it.
Then, well something took over. Upbringing. Teachings and examples and lessons about integrity. About how money is great as long as it lasts and as long as it is used to the good. As long as it has it's place and doesn't become too high on your list of important things, money is just great.
What money isn't worth is losing your good name, your self esteem or your dignity.
The feelings of resentment and anger were making me miserable, now I feel better.
Landlady is much more worried than I am. She has lost more than I have. She has less than I have. She has, because of greed, slid into a huge hole and every time she scrabbles to get out, more dirt falls on her. She is grabbing at people to try and stay above ground and momentarily she hurts us as her nails dig in..then she falls a bit further and she has to let go. Until she learns that to get on in life you have to treat people well, you have to have integrity.
When we are in our new home, paying less rent, saving money on utilities and petrol, when we are back in the very area that made us feel so safe and content, she will be worrying about how she will cover the costs of another empty home, another house that she owns that is rotting and losing value.
In the summer when we are enjoying the sunshine and our new life, she will watching several gardens become overgrown and more unmanageable.
She is not to be envied, not at all, for the price of £750 she lost another family that could have helped her.
All my life I have been taught about forgiveness, about letting go of resentment and how important that is. Today I learned it for myself because I really DID let go. I stopped caring about what will happen to her, what I can do to make her sorry, how I can make her pay for all she has put me through. It feels great, like getting out into the fresh air after being stuck in a stuffy room.
The whole time I was angry at her...she didn't know, it wasn't hurting her at all. It was eating ME up inside.
Also I learned that we have responsibility here too. We should have said No.
No to leaving the barn.
Absolutely NO to living here.
NO to doing repairs ourselves.
NO to cleaning other peoples' mess.
No to ANYTHING that wasn't signed, sealed and above board.
Just stick with the tenancy agreement, do what it says on the paper and say NO to anything else. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.