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Glad that one's over.
Oh.
Ow.
I think I've had better days, like the one when I was a nurse and ran to the canteen when it was raining and fell, and my scissors came out of my pocket and went into my knee, the actual bone. Yes, that was a better day than today.
The dentist didn't pull my tooth, she did a root canal. 13 hours ago and I am still weeping, with a swollen face and pain the like of which I can never remember experiencing. She used so much numbing stuff that my eyes went numb and only one would shut when I blinked.....whey hey! Weirdo fat face winking at all and sundry with a lopsided grin to go with it. Most attractive.
I have been clock watching in order to take pain meds as soon as allowed and yet still I weep. As I type I am in a sort of limbo, almost akin to childbirth with an epidural ( which I tried once because I wanted to say I tried it, just the once) I know my face hurts, underneath that fuzzy sort of blankness there is still a axe hacking, face splitting, jaw screeching pain just waiting to burst forth again. I just managed to stop myself hanging onto H's pyjamas clad leg and begging him not to let the pain come back. I dulled it to a pathetic cheek hugging wail as I told him that " oh! oh! I think it's not meant to hurt like this is it and please what can I do and nothing is working and I ran out of drugs I can try and nothing is working and nothing is working oh. oh."
( can you imagine my divine high functioning autistic brained husbands face as I did that??? can you picture the look of terror while he calmly said " well, you know, they did a whole bunch of digging around in there today" whilst inside I suspect his bowels were turning to water and his brain was screaming "Argh! Crying, that girlie thing she does....what to do WHAT TO DO? Will it stop soon??"
It did stop soon, and so far the pain is at bay.
Sophie just called. 11pm, she is crying and beside herself...she has a slipped disc in her lower back....she is miserable and I am at a loss as to how I can help her. Tomorrow I am going to try and get her to go back to the Dr and continue her counselling. It is SO hard not to tell her to come back and try again. I know that she needs to do something new. I know that somehow, I have to help her be independent. Things are falling down around her ears and as a mother I want to make it all OK, the trouble is, I can't....this is HER time to make things alright,to take charge and make her life work for her. Sometimes, we have to hit rock bottom before we can climb back up. Her main job ends next week, the shop is closing....she will have hardly any money at all, she has let college slide, lost her place there. She can't live here anymore, she hates being at Jordan's because it isn't her home. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I have to do it. IS this what they call tough love? I hope she can see one day that I do love her, I think she knows I do because when the chips are down I am the first person she comes to. Thank you Lord.
Ow.
I think I've had better days, like the one when I was a nurse and ran to the canteen when it was raining and fell, and my scissors came out of my pocket and went into my knee, the actual bone. Yes, that was a better day than today.
The dentist didn't pull my tooth, she did a root canal. 13 hours ago and I am still weeping, with a swollen face and pain the like of which I can never remember experiencing. She used so much numbing stuff that my eyes went numb and only one would shut when I blinked.....whey hey! Weirdo fat face winking at all and sundry with a lopsided grin to go with it. Most attractive.
I have been clock watching in order to take pain meds as soon as allowed and yet still I weep. As I type I am in a sort of limbo, almost akin to childbirth with an epidural ( which I tried once because I wanted to say I tried it, just the once) I know my face hurts, underneath that fuzzy sort of blankness there is still a axe hacking, face splitting, jaw screeching pain just waiting to burst forth again. I just managed to stop myself hanging onto H's pyjamas clad leg and begging him not to let the pain come back. I dulled it to a pathetic cheek hugging wail as I told him that " oh! oh! I think it's not meant to hurt like this is it and please what can I do and nothing is working and I ran out of drugs I can try and nothing is working and nothing is working oh. oh."
( can you imagine my divine high functioning autistic brained husbands face as I did that??? can you picture the look of terror while he calmly said " well, you know, they did a whole bunch of digging around in there today" whilst inside I suspect his bowels were turning to water and his brain was screaming "Argh! Crying, that girlie thing she does....what to do WHAT TO DO? Will it stop soon??"
It did stop soon, and so far the pain is at bay.
Sophie just called. 11pm, she is crying and beside herself...she has a slipped disc in her lower back....she is miserable and I am at a loss as to how I can help her. Tomorrow I am going to try and get her to go back to the Dr and continue her counselling. It is SO hard not to tell her to come back and try again. I know that she needs to do something new. I know that somehow, I have to help her be independent. Things are falling down around her ears and as a mother I want to make it all OK, the trouble is, I can't....this is HER time to make things alright,to take charge and make her life work for her. Sometimes, we have to hit rock bottom before we can climb back up. Her main job ends next week, the shop is closing....she will have hardly any money at all, she has let college slide, lost her place there. She can't live here anymore, she hates being at Jordan's because it isn't her home. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I have to do it. IS this what they call tough love? I hope she can see one day that I do love her, I think she knows I do because when the chips are down I am the first person she comes to. Thank you Lord.
posted by The other me | 9:56 pm
3 Comments:
Yeppers, tough love. It is tough isn't it? I had to give a little to Amanda today. Just a little though.
I hope your face feels better tomorrow. I had a tooth pulled once and it felt better the next day. I so hate the dentist too Helen.
I have to say I have never had any pain like that at or from the dentist and still I hate to go. I hope you feel better when it settles down a bit. I bet you wish she just pulled the darn thing and got on with it. In the end though, this will be better, I hope. As for Sophie, be strong. I have a friend whos son is 21 and has been in and out of jail 2 or 3 times already. She throws him out then takes him back and he walks all over her again each time. It won't stop until you make it stop for yourself. There are some people that just take advntage of you if you let them and it's sad that sometimes it's our own family. They seem to think they have some God given right to screw over anyone who is related first.
Yes I think that's tough love and you are a great momma for showing her your love that way:)
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