I heard my husband sing.

This is part of the back garden, the fence on the left is the one that we hope keeps the bulls out! I also hope it keeps the Eli in. The land on the right of the fence is ours too, it has a little stream running though it, we may just use the fenced in part, H will decide that, as it is him that will have to cut all the overgrowth back and mow the grass!

This is at the front of the house, next to the garage. I think we will have a
barbecue area right here.

still at the front...oooh imagine the boys throwing the stones, what fun!! The house is to the right, garage and annex to the left.I can park right by the front door if it is raining, what a treat!



I love this kitchen I do, I will stroke it and clean it and it has a dishwasher and I will use it even if it makes H cry because he doesn't believe in them.


And our room with lovely doors and it will have our big comfy bed in it

It's very lovely isn't it!

Today, I heard H sing, he doesn't sing, except at church where he sings with gusto but not much melody, his heart sings like an angel because he means every word of every hymn, apart from that he doesn't sing. Today he was singing downstairs, he was singing because I packed Sophie's things.
That should be a sad thing really, but this man has been put through sheer hell for nearly 8 years, he has put up with it, sometimes not put up with it, had a heart attack during one spat, he has kept his mouth shut at times when a lesser man wouldn't have been able to. He has never ever told me what to do, he has yelled and nearly blown a gasket many a time.
When he saw that I had reached a limit and understanding when this has to be it, he sang because he knows that that chapter is over. I will still and always be involved and part of whatever she does and wherever she is, but she won't be here, daily making life difficult and unhappy for everyone, including herself.
She is safe, she is, I am told, making moves to live elsewhere.
I knew it was time to make it real, pack up her things and then let her know they are ready and I will take them to her, I went to see her today, saw her poker face, talked to her while she glared at me and managed very well not to weep until I got home.
I found letters under her bed that she wrote to me and didn't give me, I hope that's because even she isn't that mean....they were mean, really heart wrenchingly mean and if they were meant to hurt, they did their job, while I can accept her drunkenness and her rage, her sadness and misunderstanding, it still hurts.
I hope that she can be happy, that she can learn something. I hope that one day she believes that I love her, have always loved her and will always love her. I want to like her as well. Right now that is a tall order.

Mama said there'd be days like this.....

And thankyou Lord for every one.....




















Who could ask for anything more??

Ahhhh, now that's more like it.

I do love it when enormous joy comes from something small.
My sister, Leah, and her friend Heather came by tonight and took the boys to the park for 2 hours ( yeehah!) after dinner I was going to drive them both home and Sophie and Mel ( Jordan's girlfriend) asked me if I would run them to Mel's flat in Babbacombe. Not too far away by car but 2 bus rides away, now and then I like to throw a spanner in the works by saying 'yes'. Fun to see them look startled and then jumping to it in case I change my mind.
So we set off and dropped Leah and Heather off, then set out to take Sophie and Mel to Babbacombe.
In the dark. You know what that means don't you? I can get there ( directions given in a voice fit for an imbecile from teenage girls) but as I am driving I know that I will never make it back because they took me the back way. Meaners.
Left, right, right, left, winding roads, dark streets.
*Sigh*
Then we remembered that instead of trying to get back the way we came, I could follow the road and drive into Torquay, bliss, I know the way from there even in the dark, clever me.
Dropped them off and kept straight on and then.......look at this, imagine being able to drive through this, as a matter of course because you live near it. This is called the English Riviera because if the weather is going to be great in England, it will be great here, it is beautiful and it has always been one of my most favourite places.



This is actually the road you drive along to get to where I needed to be. Beautiful, so uplifting and happy and in the summer the smell is glorious, heat and fish and chips and suncream.



Such a peaceful feeling I get from this place, even though it is always busy and bustling. Driving along here, on my own this evening was like balm to my weary soul. Thank goodness for little things that make a huge difference.