Cast your bread upon the waters....

..and it comes back buttered.
That's what my auntie Margaret used to say, she wasn't really my auntie but I knew her from a little girl, she was always there and I adored her. She was easily 50 years older than me but we were friends. When I was a single mother, with 3 little children we, auntie Margaret and I would go out for jaunts every wednesday, I would drive and she would pay for the petrol and we would laugh like drains the whole day.
I wonder what a sight we must have been, a sad and nervy 27 year old with a crippled and laughing old lady, she was a big woman was auntie Margaret and she loved to feed people, I think I caught something from her because darn it, if I'm not getting more and more like her the older I get!
We would go exploring and always visit places we hadn't been before, we would eat lunch and she would tell me stories of her childhood, charging kids on the street to come and see her dead baby brother, a common occurance back in the day, in the tough streets Auntie Margaret was raised in. Different men who would come in and out of her mother's life, dead babies and horrible abuse. The stuff of novels and epic movies, but every word true. She had experienced things the worst nightmares are made of and she would sit and wipe the tears from her face as they spilled like rivers down her plump cheeks. Then she would laugh about something until she cried again.
She would see homeless people on the streets and take them home, she would feed them and clean them and wash their feet. She would love them to within an inch of their lives and then she would set them out, to start new and prodcutive lives, forever changed because she had taught them what real love was.
She always called these people 'My' My Dave, My Colin, My darlin'.
She never mentioned what she did for people, she would just wink and say " They'll be alright, you see" and usually, they were.
She would say over and over again "cast your bread upon the waters and they come back buttered" and then explain that if you share what you have and do it with real love, you will never be without, she would tell me that if I ever had money and I tried to hold onto it, hoard it, selfishly hide it, I might keep what I had but it would bring nothing but misery. Because I have a mother who has always lived by the same rule, only my mum has never had anything much to share, it wasn't hard for me to know and see the truth of her words and I never have had to think about what to do with my money.
I don't have lots of money but I have enough for all that we need and some for things we want. I feel blessed and I think of Auntie Margaret and I hope she can see that I listened.
I'm not going to say what I do because the right hand should never know what the left is doing. It isn't important, I mention it only because, without fail whenever I do something for someone else, however small, it comes back to me 10 fold.
Sometimes I laugh because darn it if I can't get rid of the small 'extra' I have!
This week has been one of enormous gratitude for me.
The car died and I cried, then I took a deep breath and knew that this was a minor setback, it is a THING for goodness sake, things are always replaceable.
I set about selling the old car and I started a half hearted look for a 'new' one.
I never seem to look for things for long, I decide or am told that I need something and suddenly, there it is..that's what I need, fancy that! The same thing happened with this car. I saw it while trawling through cars online and "That's it!" I saw the price and took a 2nd look and couldn't imagine how I would find that amount but I knew this was the car and knew somehow I would do it.
It was £2, 695. That's a lot of money when you live week to week and manage to squirrel a tiny amount away for an emergency. I went to see it and opened my mouth and the words " I'll have this one" came out. I handed over £700 which was all I had in the world and I walked away with a receipt and a tiny flutter of panic.
I knew this was a good car and I was particularly thrilled to learn that with it, comes a lifetime warranty on the engine, all the expensive bits that go wrong right when you can't afford it for as long as I have the car or until I do a million miles. Sold to the lady with £700 and a huge dollop of faith.
I have almost done it. I hope that by next week it will be paid for.


Shiny, isn't it?

How did we do it? Well I just kept doing what Auntie Margaret told me.
My bread came back buttered and then someone put jam on it.
I'm not saying someone came along and paid it all for us, that isn't the case, although someone did send a generous gift along with all her love and I am hoping beyond hope that she gets her bread back toasted and filled with all things delicious.
H's dad is so generous and he used to help us all the time, since we came back to England and he has been to visit, he has seen that we don't need his help anymore, I love that he knows we are OK, sometimes though he surprises us with his generosity and he really did that this week.
We have budgeted and cut things to the bone to find the money for the car and we have been helped and the most striking thing I feel about this week is that if you feel something is right, if you believe that you can do something, then you should go ahead and try.
I also have a stronger than ever conviction that you should always share what you have, you won't ever suffer if you do that, you won't lie on your death bed and say " Oh I wish I'd held onto my stuff more"
It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, sometimes you will suddenly think of thing and feel so compelled to do it, I remember once, when my sister Julie and I were out in Plymouth, it was the middle of a beautiful hot summer and we were by the sea eating a delicious 'Opal fruits' ice lolly, ice cream covered in real fruity icy. As we walked along, a lady at church popped into my head and I said " M needs one of these!" Julie looked at me and told me I was losing it and I said " No, really, we have to buy one of these and take it to her" So we went and we bought a box of 5 and we drove to this ladies house, she opened the door and I said "Oh M, you are going to think I have lost my mind but I suddenly thought of you when we were eating a lolly and I knew I had to bring you some they are SO GOOD!"
Her eyes filled with tears and then she told us ( have goosepimples just remembering that moment) that she had been having chemotherapy and radiation for breast cancer and she showed us how her whole mouth was filled with sores and ulcers and then she said " My husband has been away on business for 3 days and I have turned my freezer and all my cupboards out trying to find something juicy to eat, I couldn't find anything....you are the answer to my prayers!"
£2 for a box of lollies was the sum of someone's heartfelt prayer. I often imagine if I had ignored that bizarre thought I had..that was no thought, that was the still, small voice of the spirit whispering to me so that I could be the answer to her prayers. The Lord uses other people to answer our prayers whenever He can, He gives us countless opportunities to love one another and to serve each other.
I am so sure that we will be blessed when we do what we can for others, He doesn't want us to go without, He doesn't expect us to suffer in order to help one another but I truly believe He expects us to do what we can with a smile on or faces and love in our hearts.
I am so glad that I am able to share what I have, be it my time, my experience, my substance or my heart. I have been taught well by my parents and by people like Auntie Margaret, by others who come into my life just as I need them, who quickly become so important to me that I can't remember a time when they weren't there.
They help me when I need it and I always promise them that when an opportunity comes my way I will pay it forward and it is always a joy to do just that.
Thankyou.

In the words of Elijah...

"Daddy's fluffy bits have gone!"
My H is back with his glorious smooth face, no whiskers sideburns, beard or any sign of facial hair. He looks 10 years younger and I have scarcely been able to stop looking at him all day.
He had valid reasons for growing them and now they are gone, amazing how that communication thing works, who'd have thought? Talking huh? Wow.

I have a whole slew of bitty bits to talk about and am not at all sure that any of them are interesting...hey ho, nothing ventured nothing gained though!
I absolutely meant to tell the whole story of the beach the other day but got myself dragged down the I am insane and you'll never guess what is in my head road....today I am sane and able to laugh about the little things again.
While we were eating our chips on Dawlish wall the other day, such excitement! There was a carnival on and so many people, lots of activities and hustle and bustle. Suddenly there were sirens and more sirens and flashing lights ! Police cars....ooooooooh where are they ? Wow headed right for us. No kidding RIGHT FOR US and the wall. Screeching of brakes and still the sirens...one car, probably the driver overcome with such adrenalin ( this is Devon, you grab the adrenalin where you can!) kept driving, he was going to get that baddie and catch his ass...he drove down the steps....such a hero. Ha!
The next car, perhaps driven by a more mature and seasoned Devonian ( yeah, be there d'reckly, hold onto the bugger while I get there will you?) well this car stopped at the top of the steps, because well, you would wouldn't you?



Now this is where I let you down and I apologise because any good blogger would have waited ( and part of me longed to) to see how the driver of this car...



Got it back UP those few steps, because although they aren't terribly steep, nor too many in number.....I can guarantee that it was not as easy to get back up, as getting down ( which made the very devil of a banging noise!)
I did a quick check and for all I could see, there were very solid, in the ground, not movable bollards placed so that no joy riding hellions could ever drive down and create havoc on the sea front, I suspect there must have been a plan B for over zealous police drivers because the car was gone when we walked back that way.
I was impressed by the crowd that gathered with the police cars and the complete unashamed rubber necking that went on...
"Hey! Wassgoin'on? Hurry up, we gotta get and see what is it....come ON!"
We, I must add, were the epitome of cool and took the chance to go the opposite direction and nab a space on the emptier beach that was blissfully free of criminals and ne'er do wells.
There, I feel I have done my duty as a blogger now, you are all updated on the facts and I even included pictures. My job here is done for another day, now I am going to sit with my smooth faced husband and kiss him a bit until Sophie returns...as she has done every single evening this week, having been visiting Jordan and Mel and not drinking or mixing with loud and uncouth people. She cleared her room today, Jordan and Mel have our table and chairs, did I mention that H's sideburns have gone? I did? Good heavens, if it isn't all working out marvellously.
Hallelujah indeed.

Yes, you are on the spot.

I want to be kind to everyone
For that is right you see.
So I say to myself, remember this,
Kindness begins with me.
( primary song)

I think, that on the whole, I have pretty much everything I need and almost everything I want. I am lucky to be able to say that there have been very few times in my life that I have felt deprived. Ask my mum if she thinks that is true and she will choke, on thin air, because when I was 9 or 10 I felt deprived, with friends who had maybe one sibling, who had a bedroom to themselves and clothes, lots of clothes that big sisters had never worn, if they grew, they would be taken shopping and bought outfits, several outfits. That just didn't happen in our family and I decided that I must be adopted, that me REAL parents would never allow me to be seen in public dresses as I was, in trousers that had divorced my ankles and married my knees. One year, my dad and I swear this is true, when I had complained about my shoes being tight and old and so very UGLY, got a stanley knife and he sliced off the toes, he was so proud because now look, SANDALS! Ta-Da!!
It's quite touching when we look at old pictures of ourselves, seeing how poor we looked, because back in the day, most people looked the same, we had sunday clothes and party clothes but for everyday, you just wore what was clean, it didn't have to match, more often than not they were hand made and usually they had been worn by at least 2 or 3 other kids, it didn't matter. I don't think I was ever bullied because I didn't have the latest fashion ( although I was bullied for being just me, horrible Bronwyn sharp nails) Anyway I went through a phase of thinking it mattered and wishing I could go shopping and buy several outfits. When I was 15 I started working and then I had all the money I needed to buy what I pleased, so then I knew that my parents were my real parents and all was well.
I have oft whittered on about my desire for a newer car, one that smells lovely and hardly makes a noise, now I have my freecycle one that costs threepence a week to run, I am more content, no matter.
I have longed for a house, no a home, that was mine.....I don't think I will ever have that, I can live with that because I can have a home wherever I am. I can make a home wherever I am.
I am not good when I don't have enough money to do what I need to do, so I make sure I do have enough money and H and I are very good at making what we have stretch and streeeeetttttcccch.
So, no real complaints and aside from the odd whiny day when we wish we had some better 'stuff' for the best part, we are content.
My mum has always taught us that we should share what we have and shut up about it.
If you have, you give and you tell not what you did or why you did it.
Let not your left hand know what the right is doing.
If you tell and blag, you're wasting your time doing the good deed, your generosity means nothing.
Just lately, I have been on the receiving end of such enormous generosity I have been left speechless and humble.
When we planned our holiday to America and then everything went pear shaped, a friend made sure that we knew, if we needed her, she would help and I knew that all I had to do was ask and she would keep her promise, I will remember her for that.
Recently, yet again I have been floored by yet more kindness, more generosity and such love given with no strings, no desire for fanfare or glory, just sweetness and friendship. I am so glad that I have my friends, I hope they know that whatever I have, be it my time or my experience in all things bizarre, it is theirs. Always.
I have put you on the spot, you people who deserve to be there, I won't mention your names but you know I mean you. Thank you, even if you told me not to say thank you, I will. Because I am so grateful and so humbled that I have such friends, real friends when so many people don't have that blessing.
Just look out New York, cause we're all coming together and you just won't know what hit you ( although you might just hear us, quite clearly!!)

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttt. fffffft.

That's me. For months and months I have been puffed up and battling and working and organising, worrying, planning, working some more, being excited and busy and so busy.
I am tired. So tired, in fact TIRED, does that explain it? I hope so.
Moving here, I imagined was like the pinnacle, such heaven and so perfect and when I got here it was all going to be so amazing and great and I could hardly imagine what a whirling dirvish I was going to be, so much to do and hoorah I couldn't wait to do it.
What has happened to both H and I is that we got here, we shut the door and we quite literally Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffted. Flat. Oh. Look at that pile of laundry there.....should move it really. Yes, I will.
Hmmmmm, those 2 pairs of shoes that could be picked up, carried 4 ft and put in the cupboard, still there.
The hanging pot that already has a hanger in place, on the floor right underneath it because Lawd, the strength it would take to lift my arms above my head and actually put it on the hook? Don't have it.
Dinner. So far KFC, Mac Donalds, chinese, dinner from mum, and 2 meals of chicken that I had to open throw in the cooker and serve ( and don't ask for anything with it because it just isn't going to happen)
Pictures. It could take a while. Why would anyone want to see how unpacked and disorganised I am? The tumble drier is in the middle of the kitchen because it likes it there and it works and you know what? We're not going anywhere, if it takes us 2 weeks to move it 2 yards into the utility room ( which needs levelling and other sort of energy needing and planning things doing to it) well so be it.
H and I look at each other with fondness and a quiet pleading that neither of us ask anything of the other for a while. Let's not talk or anything but a gentle stroke or reassuring pat as we pass, that'll be lovely.
We're both a little stunned by the sheer potency of this apathy. Or exhaustion.
I think it might wear off soon, I am beginning to feel a tingling in my soul that reassures me that I won't always be numb to the walking on crunchy cereal carpet, not forever doomed to live in a jumble of possessions without a place to be.
I am able to laugh. And some. This is not a bad feeling, if it is a feeling at all, maybe it just is. You know, maybe it's just. . That.
Dan has been here and he balm to my soul, even with his flatulence and foul mouth. He is infinitely welcomed by all.
By Seth who had Daniel's heart from the moment he set eyes on him.



By Isaac who battles his natural need to hide or shy away....



By Elijah who is a bit shy but never for very long.....



This morning Dan and I went to see Jordan, we went to the flat and the fun began because these 2 brothers are divine together. They make me laugh 'til my pelvic floor almost gives in and lets go.
They are both irreverent and hysterical, at times needing to be reminded that I am in fact their mother and they should probably reign it in a bit.
At Jordan's flat he showed us a Tens machine and told Dan he had to feel what it was like. A machine that labouring women wear on their spines, when a contraction hits it sends electrical impulses along the spine and apparantly is helpful as pain relief. So Dan said he'd try it.


So here we go..not too bad, set it all up.


So, it feels kind of weird....



Ahahahahahahahaha that's really funny!


Ouch, actually...OW really OUCH!


ARGHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHA ARGH!


GET THIS THING OFF!!!!!

I laughed ( and so did they) til I coughed.
We went shopping and they made me laugh, I come up too their shoulders, they walked either side of me, and I had to keep telling them to slow down.
We went to the pound shop ( like the 99c store) One each side of me, throwing all kinds of crap into the basket. Jordan walked past a surly young girl stacking the crisps and said in a booming and la de da voice " I SAY, that is a splendid crisps section you have there young lady, keep it up, well done troops" and walked on by, as we waited to pay he found himself right next to a shelf of particularly ugly garden gnomes, they were almost eye level and he turned to face them, put his face right up to one and said " Excuse me, would you be so kind as to direct me to your garden gnome section?"
Sometimes you might need to be there but it's the way he says things, with his lanky great body towering over everyone and the way he turns scarlet with laughing as he says it.
We went to a beautiful Italian restaurant for lunch and to watch these two as they discuss the menu, with such knowledge, both chefs, Dan having been everything from kitchen porter to now manager, then being so polite and well mannered. well that makes a mother's heart proud.
Also when we went to the restaurant where Jordan works, Dan was to meet the owner who wants a new manager. He has seen Dan's resume and was keen to meet him. He shook my hand and told me how incredible Jordan is, how he works so hard and manages the kitchen and how organised he is. He told me how he knew how proud I must be to have both these boys. And I am. My girl was here today as well. She called while we were out and we came back to meet her. I think she is trying, we all feel we want to grab her and make her safe again but we also know that she has to save herself this time, all we can do is love her, feed her, spoil her a bit ( buy her a pair of jeans in the sales, maybe some new makeup but not hand over money) she is beginning to believe that we love her, she pops in and eats, sleeps a lot and then we send her 'home'.
I hate sending her 'home,' she doesn't like it there anymore and that is GREAT news, to me that says that she is beginning to feel uncomfotable in those surroundings that have always baffled me and raised the hairs on the back of my neck.
She is starting to look beautiful again, although pale. We are all able to kiss her and be kind but also be firm and tell her that she has the means to get out of where she is and we will all hold her hands, we just can't pull her out, we can only hold her steady as she climbs. And pray that she climbs.
She was sad that we hadn't alled her to join us this morning, we left at 9am, she never ever wakes up before lunchtime. Needless to say she worked out that with Dan here we would be doing something while the boys were at school and when she woke up earlier and tried to find us, was hurt when she knew we were out together and hadn't asked her.
We came back to meet her and after we gave her the bits that we had found for her, explained that we wouldn't have shunned her for the world but she has shown us that she isn't willing ( or able) to get up and join in, that she lives her life so that the morning hours are just not a part of her life.
She actually got it, didn't yell and make a scene. She asked Dan if she could go back with him, he explained that she should wait a few weeks til he had time off to spend with her. She accepted that. Huge steps for Sophie, hopeful ones for me. She asked if she could work for him again, he explained that she chose to leave, she can't go back, she understood.
I have so much to write today, about how overwhelmed I am by everything happening.
I can almost see, at the moment how the Lord works.
He likes us to be humble. I have learned that but humility is so hard to come by. I think I see one of His ways to help us be humble.
There is nothing like being stripped to the bone, left for destitute, spiritually, physically, emotionally and then, out of nowhere being absolutely flooded by a deluge of blessings to make you see that you are not always in control, that there is a greater hand in all of this and there are times we must just let go and have faith.
I honestly feel that right now is my time to just sit quietly and watch. As I watch we are being flooded, from all sides by blessings. Financially, spiritually, emotionally. Everytime I turn around something else is happening to make my eyes fly open and turn my head to see if anyone else can see what is going on.
Sometimes it is the smallest thing, a gift or a bargain, other times it's a huge deal like seeing that all those years of what seemed like thankless slog, to see those grown sons of mine together and able to be so independant. To be such good men, kind, hard working men, despite every opposition and challenge they have faced. We have faced.
To see these big children of mine be so loving to the little ones, to hear the baby ones laugh because the big ones love them so.
To be in a home that quite literally feels as though it is wrapping it's arms around me, my bedroom has the most peaceful atmosphere, I find myself alone here and I welcome it.
When we open the door to visitors and the first thing they comment on is how wonderful it smells, after all those months of that acrid damp stench, to have a home that smells warm and comforting, fresh and clean, what a joy.
To have enough money for our needs, to have been able to find the money we needed to leave that other house, to find that already we are back on track and able to pay back the money we have borrowed very soon. What a relief.
So for now I may be a bit deflated, weary, workworn. I think actually, it is more a case of being relieved and comfortable. I'll take that and be grateful.

Quick! Before it changes!

Good things, good luck and WHOOHOO stuff is happening, all at once and ( please don't let me jinx it! Blgger god,keep this to yourself, don't tell the blogger gremlins so they can bugger it all up! Thankyou.)
First of all, the holiday...it's time to change some pounds for dollars.
Ahem....

Live Rates as of 2007.11.16 22:58:33 UTC.
1,000.00 GBP United Kingdom pounds
2,052.21 USD
United States Dollars
Except -poo! I already changed my money and it's gone up since then, last night it was $2.041. something.

Anyhoo, that is certainly a great rate is it not? Glad I'm not coming here from there...that's be sad.

And then, well, you know the car, my car. Rust bucket and dear as it is, stinky and more and more embarrassing to be in? Well, today, on freecycle, someone posted about a car that is a mere 7 years old, that's practically from the factory isn't it? A Kia, that does 35 miles to the gallon and on a run it'll do 45. Mine, right now does 13. THIRTEEN miles to the gallon when petrol is £4 ( $8) a gallon. And.....THEY ARE GIVING IT TO ME!! Tomorrow we will go and see it and check that it will get through an MOT etc.
I am almost beyond excited, I am holding out until we see it in case it is a lemon and all too good to be true.
It is one of these


I have no idea what colour it is and I can hardly wait to find out, colour means everything to a girl.
Funny thing but we have this Knex stuff that Isaac so desperately needed last christmas, he hasn't touched it apart from perhaps twice to tip it all out and then leave it. I have looked at it and thought about selling it on ebay and haven't. This evening I thought about it again and just imagined someone like me, trying to gather a decent amount together for some little boy for Christmas and thought that the best thing to do is put it on freecycle, which I did. I had emails immediately and promised it to a lady with 6 kids.
Just as I emailed her back to arrange when she could collect, I saw the email for the car and replied.
Sometimes I can't help but think of Auntie Margaret who would always say
"cast your bread upon the waters....and it'll come back buttered."
Never a truer word said!
If this works out, a huge prayer will have been answered, my poor old clutterbucket is so on it's last legs, it coughs every morning and we tell it how marvellous it is to keep taking us where we need to go, to continue to allow us to stuff it with furniture. I'm not sure how much longer it will keep doing that.

I also found the most beautiful wool rug yesterday, 8' x 5'6" and not a mark on it. £25 in a thrift shop, I'd take a picture but there is a stuffed animal zoo arranged on it and I just to tired to move it all and take pictures and pretend that my floor is always this clean and tidy.

Landlady called today, poor thing she is so poor that she just can't afford to have the repairs done on our house. Does Jordan want to move in and pay her another £250.
I. think. not.
She said some other stuff that has nailed a few more nails in her coffin.
I am trying to keep my promise to H not to fret until we come home, to leave any worrying until we have had our holiday.
The thing is, last week I came home late one evening from some errand or other and as I walked through the door I felt I was home. IMAGINE!
I am beginning to feel a teeny bit of something other than hatred for this place.
If something else came my way I wouldn't bat an eyelid walking away from it but I also feel that if we stay here, I can cope with that.
I would like to leave and rent somewhere NOT owned by this woman, who charges full rent but then tells us that she can't afford repairs because oh dear, her mortgage payments are so high and she has 4 properties empty. This is NOT my problem, one day soon she'll have another empty one and some tenants that have cleaned, repaired, beautified and put up with for too long, gone.
Mum says the barn has a TO LET sign outside. I love the barn.

H and I have a long term plan, still in it's embryonic stages, that we hope will turn our future around. It's time. I just hope that I can fight the fear away and have the courage to do what it will take to get it done. We'll see.
My skin is terrible at the moment, who knows why ( the only thing I can think of is that the holiday, therefore the flight, is getting closer. ) I am getting my knickers in a twist about flying and also, having to sleep on a blow up bed at grandpa's. Look, I don't sleep much, when I do sleep I want it to be good sleep, peaceful snuggly, comfy sleep.
I am very overweight. I have the most vivid imagination.......let me paint a picture.
Overweight mother of 6, weary and aching after a day of such excitement as say Universal studios. Tired me......into the bedroom we go ( small room, I would say maybe 10' x 10?) in it there will be 2 queen size blow up beds and FIVE people, fat old me, larger than he used to be but still compact and delicious H with his arthritic neck ( what a couple we are) and 3 farty little sweat buggers aged 4, 6 and 7.
I shall creep in and the others I hope, will be sleeping. Tip toe, tip toe.
Crouch down, begin to lower my bulk to blow up mattress and FLUMP.......now if H and I share one mattress and put the boys on the other, that mattress may not have a hope in hell of staying inflated. Hmmm lets put one kid and one parent on each mattress and the remaining urchin on the floor on blankets or something.
SO, here I go....oooops ooops WHOOOOOOF.....whichever kid is sleeping on that airbed is going to SHOOT up into the air....catapulted out of slumber to hit the ceiling fan, or wall or just right out of the window because I kid you not, I have some serious weight behind me ( and in front of me, nothing if not well balanced) my boys are little sparrows, with arms like sticks and xylophone rib cages, they look like they have been in a famine, I look like I caused it.
Yes, you may well laugh but I tell you what, all I need is a musty pillow and a tight sleeping bag and I'm off, I'll take my chances in a doorway somewhere, at least then someone might walk past and throw some change my way, hope is a marvellous thing.
Grandpa has dogs, well actually, H has one dog at grandpa's house. Taz, who thinks he is human and is quite possibly the only dog I have ever come close to liking. He thinks he is a person and during my time at grandpa's house with the brother in law from misery street, that dog put up with a whole lot of secrets and whining from me, all he asked in return was that I move the boys out of his dog bowl before they'd eaten all the food and to share the pilchards I craved when pregnant with him ( the last request was a tough one because those pichards in tomato sauce? Mmmmmmm, I'll fight you for them dog)
H's sister is at grandpa's house at the moment and she has 2 little dogs, of the jumpy kind, so 3 dogs, one father in law, one sister in law, one husband of sister in law who is sometimes there and other times, not. One husband, 3 children, me and 2 blasted blow up beds. And quite possibly a partridge in a pear tree as it will be christmas while we are there.
I am looking forward to getting there ( without plane crashing, terrorists or any travel hassles at all, please) and I am longing to smell the evening air, I adore the smell of California in the evenings, quite different from Utah which is also pleasant smelling in the evening, during summer but not a touch on California.
I look forward to shopping and friends, apple and cinnamon soft pretzels, Mongolian bar-b-q at the Mall's food hall.
In fact, I am looking forward to much more than I am dreading. Just not the bloody blow up bed, dear life.
I so want to take the boys to candy lane to see all the lights, what memories.
We are going to have to rent a car and I WILL HAVE TO DRIVE!
Oh see? Itch, welt, scratch. Funny how I can drive over here on these windy tiny roads and not bat an eyelid, H can drive over there and not flinch......he doesn't have a licence anymore though as it expired, we don't think he can renew it as he lives here now....it'd be great if he could so I don't have to drive on those big old roads with those insane drivers in their monster trucks and 12 lanes.
Marilyn, come everywhere with us and let me follow you and don't drive faster than 30 miles and hour and ram all those mad buggers out of the way for me.....OR even better you AND Brian come everywhere and you drive our car and he can drive yours and I will kiss your arm all the way there and back and tell you how completely fantastic you are and I will send you mingles every month for the rest of you life. I am so not kidding.