This way, that way, forward, backward.....

Ever had that feeling that everyone wants a piece of you and they want it NOW? It's been one of those days. Not necessarily a bad thing altogether, exhausting yes.
With Sophie, it is always emotionally exhausting. She is a mare. She will make it all sound so dire and she will rub everything in as though this is ALL.MY.FAULT. She did that today but I am learning just how manipulative she can be, I caught her out today and was able to turn it around and show her that sometimes, things are only the way she sees it , because that is how she chooses to see it.
It started with a phone call.
"mum, where are you because I am locked out and cold, Ang is sleeping and no-one is answering the door, I am tired, come and get me and then bring me back here later" ( please? Of course not)
"Soph, I'm right in the middle of baking, I have a few things to do and in an hour I will collect the boys, either you can walk over here and I will run you home, or you can wait and meet me at the school, have dinner here....."
"Forget it, I'll just freeze, I am so cold and what do you care?" Hung up.
Text.
'I haven't been this angry in a long time hope ur happy, can't believe u wudnt do something that simple for me'
Text back
'well, I am baking, getting dinner ready, trying to pack to move again, have to collect the boys in an hour, have no petrol money for extra trips, not so simple is it?'
Her text said that she was tired, why couldn't I just do one thing for her...
This went on until I just got tired of trying to explain that she isn't the only person that needs me and although I loved her, she was welcome to come over but I couldn't just drop everything blah blah......poor Sophie, pout in torrential rain, alone and unloved.......when I finished the cake I was making and had everything organised here, the texts were still coming in fast and furious, I drove to the school early ( had a magazine with me) the house she is in is on the route to school. Little bugger wasn't even there! This whole time she was actually with her friend in town!
So glad I have somehow mastered the art of only worrying about those things I am able to change or fix.
She came back with me for an hour or so, played with the boys and then went again.
Then Jordan and Mel came over.....look where my grandbaby is growing....



In there, that teeny tiny little bump has a perfect little person inside it. I think it looks like my leg, with a bump the size of my fat knee.



I've had gas bloating bigger than that. So unfair that people can have these little tummies and then when the child comes out, SNAP right back down again. Unlike my blown up, let down overstretched balloon belly.


Uncle Eli says hello.

And the daddy,



So we looked up names, they love Ellena Grace for a girl, which is really Helen isn't it? After me of course. I told them that is what I would be telling people, so if it is a girl I imagine she will be called Chloe, so as not to confuse me and make me feel overly important, because I could, quite easily turn into hovering Nana, with namesake baby. Given a chance.

We are burying our heads in the sand as far as packing goes, not a bit done, yet. Although having said that, what can we do? We have a massive 11 days to do it. Which is a long time when most of it is still packed from last time. When we came home from our holiday I went through the clothes and took 3 black sacks of stuff to the recycling place because no-one wears this stuff, the boys are weird little same outfit wearing people, 2 sets of clothes, over and over again, while bags of stuff sits waiting to be ironed and put away and never worn, just pulled out, creased and left there. BYE BYE! Gone.
What we have left can be carried in the dressers, or ironing baskets.
We could pack kitchen stuff and tomorrow, maybe we will do just that. Maybe, on the day I will throw it in laundry baskets and drive it to the new house, and then put it straight away. Maybe I will recruit everyone I know to drive here, pack a black sack and drive it to the new house. 57 cars each doing one trip...sorted.
I am so laid back about this whole move I almost impress ( or worry) myself. 11 days, gah! Plenty of time.
All I can say is this....TV, phone and internet are sorted, what more can we need? Beds will take 30 minutes to take down ( so used are we to doing it) we will have all kinds of people to help and carry, van is arranged, I am going to the agency on monday to finalise the last details, can't do anything else there until then. My goodness, I am completely ahead of the game.
Dan has the chance of a great job down here.....wouldn't that be the icing on the cake??
I am about ready to curl up in bed with my splendid book, sleep is still coming easily and I would like to take this opportunity to thank the United States of America for somehow curing my insomnia and glory of glories, since we came home, all 3 boys sleep through til 7-7.30 every morning. No more 5am wake ups, truly miraculous.

I am not a monster......

Shhhhhhhhhhh....... as I type, with the exception of a few welts on the back of my neck that are annoyingly itchy I am almost feeling normal. Oh the relief. Most of the day I have had one or two areas of itch and a face that looks like the Elephant man but otherwise, not suicidal and not screaming or wailing or lamenting the whole terrible world of scratch.
What's with the face? Good heavens, give me a break, my eyes have done this weird thing where they have swelled in the corners, next to my nose. Really swelled, I look like I have a syndrome, no kidding ( I know, you want pictures but leave me a smidgen of dignity will you for Pete's sake, not that I care much for Pete, or even know him but you know what I mean.) The right side of my face, right along the hairline and near my ear, down past my chin, has a fat line of bumpety welts that are itchy enough to make me feel quite sorry for myself but not have me leaning with my head against the tumble drier weeping for mercy.
I have had clothes on all day.
Poor H, normally such a modest type of gal, I have thrown every ounce of decorum away this past week and have lollopped about in nothing but granny pants and a miserable disposition. I cared not, I needed relief, cool air and not to be touched by damn clothes.
H has been glorious and typically H, just quiet and useful, gentle and helpful and I am very grateful to have him. I have looked at him a lot these past few days and in my depressed state of mind dreaded the day I would ever be without him. He has gently made me laugh when it would have seemed impossible. His lovely cool hands have stroked my poor back and soothed my miserable spirit.
The landlady came by today, we have a tenancy agreement and are to pay a full and generous rent of £750 a month, I told her about the rotten bathroom floor and how dangerous that is and she said " Oh yeah, just don't use the shower." I think not Ms have to cover my mortgage payment but don't expect anything back for your money, I think we will have that floor fixed thankyou very much.
I have already drafted and will mail tomorrow, 3 copies of a letter stating the repairs we expect within the next 2 weeks, one copy for her, one for us, one for the council. From now on, everything will be done in writing. I'm done with the chummy pal stuff. It gets us nowhere.
She said how lovely it is to see this house like a home and how lucky we are to be here because it has such a lovely garden ( yeah right, it does now.....has she forgotten that rotten overgorwn festering jungle?) and told us, oh how funny...that the sale of the barn fell through. It is not sold. We could still be there.
H is happy we aren't there...the noise drove him crazy and he felt a bit out in the sticks, he likes being here near people and civilisation. I miss it, the smell and the safety and the space. The newness. I miss it. A lot.

I think that this whole month, moving, the tooth, this skin business has knocked me sideways. I am flattened. I am relieved that it seems my itching hell is on it's way out but until it has gone and become a funny ( as if!) tale of the 'remember that?' variety I am sitting very still and trying not to scratch my poor old face and neck.
I haven't had any steroids today nor have I taken any anti histamines for 7 hours, this is huge, HUGE I tell you. I am almost weeping with the relief of it. Please, please let this be the end of it.

A prefectly posh party. *ETA

You are cordially invited to our perfectly posh barn on tuesday where we shall be having a perfectly posh party for my birthday.
Women and unavoidable children only (not that I don't adore other peoples' children but posh luncheons are so much more satisfactory without them ...or mine and tuesday is the last day before school hols).
Please bring a plate of something perfectly posh and wear a flowery frock and even a hat.
Weather permitting we shall eat al fresco, if its plishing it down we shall be inside enjoying the salubrious poshness of my converted barn residence.
Time is ticking on my ability to pretend I am posh and deserve to be living in such surroundings so let's grasp every chance for a 'bit of a do'.
Wish you could all come...what will you bring?

Look, am ready to admit that posh is unlikely.....ahem, can't even seem to spell perfectly posh correctly ( see title) am having delusions of grandeur, leave me be to enjoy it while I can. Thankyou)