I blame testosterone.

I am loathe to admit it but I am so over all this boy stuff lately. As the boys grow the testosterone levels are soaring and good grief it's annoying. Seems when 2 of them area round it's manageable, when that third one walks into the mix, no matter which one it is, all hell breaks loose.

Why in the name of pleasantness can they just not get along?

Why, if their absolute favourite show is on can they just not sit and watch it? Why do they have to jump on each others' heads / legs/ backs ? Oh how I miss the days of High school musical, of watching Eli dance and sing and mince about like a fairy on crack.

Who'd have thought that Ben 10 and power rangers could bring such violence and NOISE to my life, untuneful noise, with no twirling?

The constant 'YARGH! Ooof! TAKE THAT!" Makes me crazy, at 7.30am.....we maybe shouldn't even discuss that.

The need to be biggest, best, loudest, fastest is so huge it's scary, the outrage if someone appears to be beating them at anything " NO!!! I got dressed first I did, not YOU" is ridiculous.

It seems they are incapable of sitting still or walking in a straight line, everything is done with leg kicks and arm chops, headstands are a must when watching TV, apparantly.

The problem with having boys so close in age is that as soon as one outgrows a hideous phase, the next one hits it, no break, no chance to take a breath and gird ourselves for the next bout.

These 3 are so different to the last batch of kids I made. The first batch was evenly spaced, one nice boy...2 years, another nice boy, 2 years a girl. That worked out rather nicely for me.

The 2 boys got along for the most part, the girl was a whole new thing, a change is as good as a rest they say.

This time, nice boy, 11 months, nice boy, 2 years nice boy. Wouldn't you think that would be alright? Oh but it's not. Now they are all here, in a big old lump it is anything but alright. Far too much time is spent seperating them,warning them, dargging them away from mortal danger as they all try to exercise the need to be the BEST, the BRAVEST, the LOUDEST.

I miss the acre of land we had at the barn, I miss the 14ft trampoline at the horrible house, I miss them going to bed at 6pm!

They are like caged animals in this house, there is nowhere for them to go and release all this energy they have......there is only so much drawing and colouring a group of bouncy boys can do in a day. As they get more boyish, I find myself needing more girlie. Power Rangers = the need for a new pillow. Bouts of kung fu like leaping = the longing for a pretty smell or a nice plant.

If this carries on my home will be one filled to the brim with Laura Ashley and floral prints.

I shall have candles and swirly things on every available surface.

I always sent prayers of thanks for having a ratio of 5 boys to one girl, that was before I saw what fun a girl can be....now I am a little sad that I am so outnumbered by these willy wielding gitlets. I sort of long for someone who wants to shop with me, who claps hands at a new ribbon or gets giddy at the Barbie commercials.

I can only see it getting worse the older they get, they are all such BOYISH boys too ( what? Who was worried by Eli and his penchant for fluffy and pink? WHo? Me? No, I think you are mistaken!)

I have never been a frilly sort of girl, I don't swoon over scarves or boots or high heels. Make up is a light covering of whatever is needed to improve the look of the day, I hate lipstick, I get my hair cut twice a year if I remember. Manicures are a mystery to me. The only dress I remember ever buying was my wedding dress, I don't do frocks willingly.

As I age though, as I am overpowered by the masculine family I bore, I am feeling a need to make myself heard! I want them to notice that I am a woman....that there is someone here who doesn't get the whole punching, kicking, karate chopping, yelling thing.

It's almost worth crying just to see the array of stunned and WTH? expressions a family of boys/men can show at such a terrifying spectacle, just a glimse of those startled faces is enough ( usually) to drag me out of the dolldrums because they are just all so clueless!

Oh, you know what? It's time to show some pictures....some before pictures and some now pictures. I hate having my picture taken, in June when I went to Boston I had so many pictures taken I was amazed that I didn't scurry away and find a rock to hide under. I am so glad that they were taken though, because now I can compare the ones that Sophie took today, right as I swiped a sweet from Seth and stuffed it in my mouth before he could rescue it!
So...June......


and this morning




And June...

( with splendid Sara, who always looks so beautiful!)

and today....


stuffing a foamy banana and doing the typical and oft seen move of a fat person, dragging the shirt away from any lumps and bumps!!

I am so thrilled to see a change! I know I can keep going, I shall keep taking pictures every couple of months so that I can see that this is working....oh please let it keep working!!

Just because....

In tripping over toys and shoes and ice cream wrappers and clothes and more shoes, sometimes I see something, that for no particular reason, makes me happy.
This is one of them. I have kept it just where it was left because it looks as though a very definite project is going on and we are all for projects in this house. It could easily be mistaken for a mess and another muddle for someone to undo but really? Sheer joy. I love little boys and their minds.

Isaac's story. ( sdited to add his own story)

So, I have been missing for a few days, no big dramas just way too much of the same 'oles, bored myself thinking of what I could possibly write, felt too much compassion to put it all down in black and white why put anyone else though such tedium?
Oh, something to report, Isaac, he of 'lellow ba' land, has been to bed every night for a week without yellow blanket. In fact his face takes on a look of utmost disdain if I mention it. " I do NOT need that blanket." I almost can't stand it, I shall keep that blanket forever, we have picture of him clutching that beloved scrap of stinkiness, nursery pictures, home pictures and many, many heart pictures. Some of this growing up malarky isn't to my liking. His classroom assistant came swimming with us on saturday, it was great to be able to talk to her on the ride there, my Isaac is coming on in leaps and bounds, he now does P.E even takes his shoes and socks off which is a huge thing. He had a maths assessment last week and apparently a total stranger did his and he SPOKE, he reads aloud every time. Sad that his year is almost ended, 5 weeks and he will be moving on, new teacher, new classroom helper, new classmates, I wonder how far back he will slide. One of those wait and see deals I shouldn't wonder.
Oh...this is a story that Isaac wrote and H put on bedtime.com where kids can submit their own stories. Seth's tomorrow, his has it's own tale behind it.

The Enormous Turnip

Once upon a time, there lived an old lady and a old man and they planted peas , green beans and one enormous turnip and the old man and he had an idea. Then the old man went to fetch three black cats and two dogs, a farmer and five pigs and sixteen hens, and a thousand chicks, and there was a hundred and eight ducks. And said “I know what we can have for dinner. Turnip stew.”

But there was one thing that the farmer didn’t know, that the turnip was stubborn. Now, the old lady asked her wonderful husband “where is the turnip for our stew?” The farmer said “sorry my beautiful wife, the turnip was so stubborn, it wouldn’t come out!” Five minutes after, they heard a little squeaky voice, it was two little puppies. And they wanted to help pull the stubborn turnip out. But the farmer just said “it won’t do any difference at all.” But to see if it works, lets give it a try! So they did.
Even the puppies and that very moment the turnip went flying out of its pit. So they had turnip stew, after all.
And they lived happily ever after.
The end








I took these in the playground after school last week, I took one of Seth too.....my children are so refined, so sophisticated, I'm pretty sure they get it from me.

4 Days.....

Elijah has been like this........





It is one of Mel's extensions, she gave it to him and he has worn it for 4 days, even to church today, I did make him take it off while church was actually going but as soon as we got home? Right back on. Funny that if anyone says he is pretty, he says " I am NOT a DIRLIE!!" A little worrying the way he swings his head around so that the hair swooshes around his face and you have never seen such a dramatic hair sweep as he wipes it out of his eyes. He has also been wearing high heeled shoes. I hope it is a phase, Isaac is into the shoes as well, the pair of them are mincing around the house clip clopping for all they are worth, Lordie.

Sophie is in pain today, I hear that she was with friends last night and they got locked out..... she climbed through a window and got stuck, had to be cut free by the fire brigade! She is black and blue all over. *sigh* Will she grow up soon???

I am feeling better about the move, I have accepted that this is all real and we will have to leave this house. I am sad but actually am now able to look forward to what is to come, it will be fine. this is a house, we have to leave it but the home comes with us.
I am going back to the council tomorrow with a new eviction letter......worse than the first, the council wrote and said that the original was useless and not worth the paper it is written on, listen to what this one says....

We Eviction properties of could care less lodge, Lording it up, Devon.
Hereby give you notice that possession is required ( by virtue of section 21 housing act 1988) of YOUR home but our house, lovely town, Devon. which you hold as tenants on the 28th April 2007 or at the end of the of the period of your tenancy which will next end after the expiration of two months from the service upon you of this notice.
dated. 4 days after we recieved it 2007.

?????????? no typos, that is just how it is written...of the of the period blah blah.

Honestly....what more can I say?

Back to school......

7.35pm

Seth " When is it bed time?"
Me " oh about 25 minutes"
Seth " but I'm tired now"
H. " Oh no....bedtime is 8pm"
Elijah " But right now I am tired, right now, can I go to bed right now?"
Me " no, it's too early, you have to stay up"
Isaac " but I think I can't, I think my legs won't walk up the stairs I am too tired right now"
Me "oh, OK....shall we let them go to bed or not daddy?"
H. " Oh, OK, just this once.....we'll go right now"
3 boys " YEAY!"

Is that not heaven? How much would you pay to hear that? less than half a story they were out. I love school. I LOVE SCHOOL!



The boy, waiting in the car for the nursery gates to open...



Oh...forgot to tell you, Dan got some awards this week.. He received 'Special of the year' from the police service. He is a special constable with the police where he lives, that means he has all the authority of the regulars but he does the work on his days off and evenings etc. He got 3 other awards but I can't remember what they were for, bad me!
He is about to move into the hotel he works at, this will save him a HUGE amount of money, no more rent, no bills......he's going to be rolling in money for while, I told him to save and put down a deposit on his own home. I am so proud of him, he is just fabulous. Not once, ever, since he was 16 has he ever asked for money, he has never been in trouble, he is so grown up and mature, kind and generous. I so want him to be happy. I think he is, he broke up with Shawn, this time it looks like it may be for real....I hope he can meet someone that appreciates him for everything he is. Shawn hated Dan doing anything, hated him being with the police hated him having friends, hated him being here, talking to us, he just wanted total control of everything Dan did. I hope that this means Dan can really give himself to whatever he chooses, not have to keep compromising and giving up on what he wants to do.

I think I'll keep him.

I just have to write about H. Funny that he is such a huge part of everything I do but he gets the tiniest mention here occassionally. Today he gets the limelight.
He is, quite frankly, a bit splendid. I am completely convinced that he and I were made for each other.
As time goes by, I see more and more in H that is admirable. The way he is with our boys makes me love him more and more. He has so many unique ideas with them, I am sure when they are grown they will have so many fabulous memories.
He reads with them every night, he spends about 30 minutes while they are settling in bed reading with them, when it is time for bed ( 8pm) he takes from behind his chair a little lantern, every evening one of the boys gets to be the 'leader' and light the way to bed. I love that.....how special do those boys feel when it is their turn? They like bedtime, it is part of the day that they look forward to ( me too me too!!) it is the ultimate punishment, when limits have been pushed, when they are told that there will be no story time. If daddy stays in his chair and mummy does bedtime, they know that they have gone too far and not listened.
I mentioned yesterday that he names everything, if he cooks dinner it always has a name. Buffalo burgers for example.
Every park we go to has a name, spiderman park, duck park, grandma's park, train park. They never go for a walk, they go on hikes.
He reads sciptures to them, everyday he teaches them abouts God and Jesus Christ. They remeber what he says too!
Last week , oh hang on I have to tell you something first. H and I are incredibly modest around the house, mainly because we have always had teenagers around, we have had to make sure we are covered when we wander around the house ...especially as the teenagers were 'step'kids. So, the boys rarely see us undressed if at all.
Last week, we were all waiting in the front room for him to come in and read......he walked in, in nothing but a skimpy towel, carrying a tray with a jar of honey and some pictures of locusts! I wish I could post the picture because to the side of H, is Seth..hands over his mouth with the most incredible look of hilarity / astonishment on his face. The point is, they learned about John the baptist, what he did, how he lived, who he was, they will remember. ( with Isaac sending most of the time trying to look UP the towel " have you got underwear on? HAVE YOU!?"...yes he did. )


Ahhh, the marvel of photoshop!
Look at that face! Shame the chaos of tea time hasn't been cropped out! This room is a hazard area by the time these boys go to bed!
He is maddeningly calm, while I am running around wailing WOE IS ME ! He is sitting, waiting to see how things pan out. I react, he responds. I hear half a story and ARGH! HELP! WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DOOOOOO???
He hears, waits, listens, sees then decides. Great job when you can do it! Makes me want to smack him at times but he is actually just what I need.
I think I'll keep him, he ain't bad for a bald headed old fart.

A napsack on my back....

Well, the easter hols are over, back to school on monday. We have had a splendid time, busy and fun. H and I have taken turns taking the boys out so that whoever is left at home can get some work done. These boys are delightful when entertained, we can take them anywhere and they are a joy. If, however we leave them to occupy themselves, oh dear.
Oh DEAR.
They are hellions. One morning they were playing in the front yard I was in our room so could hear them, ah, bless are so happy and peaceful and playing....when will I learn? I looked out the window and what did I see? Flower pots emptied and earth and soil spread, quite evenly all over the courtyard. Also, Elijah escaping, again, watched by a dear old lady who was saying
" Does your mummy know you're going out...hey! HEY! Does your mummy let you get out???" As I hurtled out and after him her voice followed me saying " You don't get a minutes peace with that one do you dear?" No, we don't, but would we have it any other way?
H took them out today on a hike, a real one...miles of walking and walking and looking and talking. They went to paradise island, I love the way H gives everything and everywhere a name. Apparently, paradise island was a little stream like place where they were in paradise because they stood and threw big old rocks in the water, over and over again, the ran in the water, they were very wet, VERY dirty, hungry and NOT TIRED when they got home, how can that be? They walked about 4 miles.....it is hot, how can they get home, having been out for 5 hours, have a bath, eat dinner and STILL be bouncing and loud?
They took about 17 seconds to fall asleep when they had their story but right up until they went up the stairs they were full of bounce and energy.
I have felt so much better today, none of that horrible uncertainty, I am at peace with knowing that it is all out of my hands. I know that we will wither be able to stay here or we will get a council house. All we have to do it wait it out, keep cleaning and organising and wait for the verdict!
Today.....wait for it... I cleaned the cooker, inside. How disgusting is that job? Ewwwww. I bought this fabulous kit, you spread some gel inside the oven, then you put the trays/ oven shelves in a tough plastic bag, pour the rest of the gel stuff in the bag, shake it a bit and leave it. 4 hours later those babies are GLEAMING! I just rinsed it all off and saw beautiful shiny oven things.
Where was this stuff when I was married to the first one and living in army housing? The hours and hours I spent scrubbing those blackened oven shelves, weeping and swearing and promising that when the day came that I would have my very own stove, I would never clean it, I would use it 'til I couldn't shut the door for filth and then I would throw it away and buy a new one. ( and I did just that ..once, just because I felt I had to keep the promise) Now, of course, we are back in rented accommodation with cooker supplied, so with the discovery of this marvellous yet toxic stuff that would strip the skin off your arms as easily as it melts the grime off your stove, well life seems to have taken on new meaning. I might find that I can always have a sparkling cooker and be able to open it if we have guests, I could pretend I was on a cookery show and make big sweeping movements as I put trays of something delicious in to bake.
Imagine a life without cooker shame. Can you? It's almost too much isn't it?
Does blood pressure make you giddy? I am so dizzy. I hope it's just a case of getting used to it. This getting older lark isn't much fun is it? At least my pelvic floor is holding out, no leaking as of yet. Thank the Lord for enormous mercies.
I have had 5 hours sleep in the past 3 days, that's not enough even for me, resident insomniac. I am going to bed very soon and it is only 10.30...that's like early afternoon to me. How exciting, an early night. I must get out more.